Always an uphill battle

Leaving

2010-05-08T01:33:00.001+08:00

Hi my last post I'm leaving here for good!

Click!

Relink if you want to?

You don't realise

2010-05-03T20:39:00.002+08:00

Don’t be discouraged. It’s often the last key in the bunch that opens the lock.
- Unknown

Hi humans, I'm finally back.

So quite a number of things had happened during this period when I was away. One was the balloting for the FYP project. Didn't manage to get the project we wanted, but got something similiar in the end so it doesn't really matter. But some issues, better left unspoken. Sometimes, things just keep getting worse ain't it. I can only hope things will turn out alright at the end of the day.

I have been spending too much, and I am heading out too often. This coming Wednesday's Ip Man 2 and Upper Thompson bcm, meeting Jacq and co on Friday, Saturday's Sakae Teppanyaki, then Sunday comes Mother's Day! Schedule is getting pretty tight, I feel as if I have already neglect my studies but it's only the start of week 3 in school haha wtf is wrong with me.

I have already created another account on Wordpress, and it's already done. Will reveal my new blog soon. Or maybe not. So till then!

I could really use a wish right now

2010-04-28T21:33:00.004+08:00

“I have learned now that while those who speak about one’s miseries usually hurt, those who keep silence hurt more.”

— C.S. Lewis

I'm going to disappear for awhile.

Maybe a week or longer.

Don't ask/question me, I'm keeping my mouth zipped.

Period. Bye.

Is this as hard as it gets?

2010-04-27T17:36:00.005+08:00

“When things go wrong, you’ll find they usually go on getting worse for some time; but when things once start going right they often go on getting better and better.”
— C.S. Lewis

Things haven't been going my way now and then, and seriously it's taking a toll on me so pardon me if I seem like I'm pulling a long face/mood-less in school.

Balloting for FYP project tomorrow. I have a bad feeling about it but I'm keeping my fingers crossed and hoping for the best. Oh god, please let everything go through smoothly if I will just lost it and really go bonkers.

And don't ask questions please. When I say it's nothing, it means that I don't wna talk about it, so just suck it up and stop pressing me. Not pinpointing at anybody, just speaking in general.

Get up and go

2010-04-26T23:53:00.002+08:00

“Keep on beginning and failing. Each time you fail, start all over again, and you will grow stronger until you have accomplished a purpose - not the one you began with perhaps, but one you’ll be glad to remember.”

— Anne Sullivan

Today marks the start of the second week of school. Lessons are starting officially, I'm still awed by the fact I'm already year 3, exactly one year later I would have graduated I can't believe this.

Okay anyway, as usual I had an busy weekend.

Friday I went over to some concert at RP.. And sadly, I have to admit such concerts are never my cup of tea, and perhaps will never be. I was just there merely to enjoy the accompany of my dear few. Haha peace, no offence.

Saturday was the 25th month with the boy. Had lunch at Fatboy, not very fantastic for me, we both were struggling so hard to finish our huge portions. Bought my new Swatch watch and my new specs that day and I'm happy like that.

Sunday was baby Julian's baby shower. It's been 1 month since his arrival of this world. My goodness. how times flies seriously. And I'm astonished by how babies grow and undergo changes.

Not a wonderful day for me today, so I'm gna hit the sack soon to sleep this awful feeling away and hopefully tomorrow's a better day so bye cyber I'll be back.

Don't fight this

2010-04-21T19:47:00.001+08:00

I don't know what is this I am feeling today, but I think it taste a lot like defeat. Fml much.

Number 1.

Left my house without my keys today, and I got stuck outside for at least some 30 minutes before Mummy came with the keys then left again. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I felt so lost, I felt so frustrated inside. I felt like I'm so used to putting up with a facade, wearing this mask all along, then it hit me suddenly that certain things are not okay. And so I cried when I finally got back in my place, and I felt really stupid for crying.

Number 2.

And with all the lecturers approaching me for FYP projects, it already slowly building up stress in me. I get scared of myself sometimes. It's just the beginning but I'm already scared the stress level will just crush me someday, I don't know if I can handle this. I may look like none of these is bothering me on the outside but really, I'm screaming inside. Who really understands?

Number 3.

I'm nothing with you, you and you. Everyone seems busy all of a sudden.. I just want to have someone to sit down beside me, who I can tell every single thing to, no secrets at all. But who, I don't know because everyone's living their own life so comfortably without me, everyone seems occupied suddenly.

I wish you all out there never had to read all these.

Untitled post

2010-04-19T20:57:00.006+08:00

Hi cyber.

First day of school today, so far so good, and I'm not missing attachment. I actually feel good about going to school, I think I'm insane.

Have been catching a lot of movies lately.. Caught Date Night and Kick Ass not too long ago, this coming Wednesday's Shutter Island. Die hard fan for movies. (Y)

Okay a little short update on what's going on for the past few days. Like I mentioned in the previous post, to mark the end of attachment last Friday, joined some of the girl at Gil's place for some small chit chats and it was good. :)

And had an indoor picnic at Kennard's with some of the people from my ever beloved squad. Initially intended to head over to Macritchie for the picnic but apparently we got lazy and the weather nowadays is seriously very threatening, it might just rain anytime so we decided to stay in instead.

Love to all of these people, what else can I say. Always so comfortable when I'm around with them. :) More photos up on Facebook as usual.

I'm looking forward to the weekends. Saturday marks my 25th month with the boy and Sunday's baby nephew Julian's baby shower! Excited much. I'll be back with more photos soon so catch you later cyber byeeee.

Thing happens

2010-04-14T22:41:00.000+08:00

I have been so undriven to update this space lately. Just gna do a short one before I hit the sack.

Caught Clash of the Titans with Louis some 2 weeks ago. Lots of movie screening soon! Kick Ass, Shutter Island, Ip Man 2, Iron Man 2. I think I need a movie kaki.
Had steamboat over at SM's finally, after much procrastination.
I think the bonds I have with these people are tightening slowly but steadily and I'm loving it. Year 3 for us already, bring it on YEAH MAN.
Lunch with the bunch during on of the days. And yes, Jacq’s no longer having long hair! I’ll never have the courage to snip off my hair like this.
The attachment is coming to an end this Friday, like finally, which also means school's starting. I hate the job at attachment, but I think I like the people there and I think I have tad bit of feelings attached to that place. Ok ironic, whatever. School's better though.
Friday I'm gna head to Gil's place together with some of the girls! Looking forward. Weekends are fully packed as well, got to enjoy myself to the fullest before the holidays end!
Made plans to go for Jay Chou’s concert but the tickets were sold out at a horrendously fast rate. :( Sad or sad.
And I’m currently obsessed with Paul Wesley in Vampire Diaries and still, my ever so handsum Jerry Yan. Hot stuff. :)

Ok I’m done, ending at lucky number 7 and I ought to be sleeping soon so bye.

Is it just me, or?

2010-04-06T23:14:00.004+08:00

“So many roads. So many detours. So many choices. So many mistakes.”
— Sex and the city

Hi all.

I'm just going to do a short post before I head for bed.

Currently I'm down with my usual flu, and I've started coughing, I should beware of an incoming sore throat.

Let's just say this few days was a... Roller coaster ride. Things has been driving me insane. And the flu and all aren't helping. I'm not ready to throw in the white flag and surrender without putting a fight but I need to find my strength back.

Timetable's out, can't really believe I'm Year 3 already. In a blink of an eye, really.

I might or might not be shifting to Wordpress, I'll keep things updated. So till then, goodnight world.

Ouch

2010-04-04T11:34:00.004+08:00

Today I'm just want to stay in my room and wallow myself in heartache.

I wish I could

2010-04-03T00:55:00.000+08:00

人生已经如此的艰难, 有些事情就不要拆穿.

You're my air and I breathe you

2010-03-31T23:50:00.002+08:00

You could get on my motorbike and we could drive to a lake. We could talk about what it means to be you, what it means to be me, what it means to love and what it means to be us. And in 20 years time, we could look back on this day and know that we meant what we said.
- I Wrote This For You

Sup world!

It's Wednesday already, this tormenting week of attachment is ending tomorrow!! Thank for for Good Friday. And I just had my FTT in the evening, and I passed! :)

And the boy has been bugging me to update on our second year anniversary so here I go!

So actually the purpose of baking the cookies with Sili during one of the weekends was to give the cookies to him as a gift! I am damn proud of myself because it's the first time I successfully baked cookies which are edible from the scratch! NOT premixed recipe ok hahahah.

I think we're damn suay that day because he was rescheduled to work on that day(of all days the company HAD to reschedule him for work on the 24th suay or suay) and I had attachment that day as well. Ok anyway, we went for dinner at F.I.S.H. Nice place with fab food! Yumz love the pasta he had!

Happy boy with the cookies! And I knew my hard work and efforts put in baking the cookies was paid off because he said they tasted pretty good! :)

We had Turtle Colossal as well omg horrendously sinful but it tasted super good!! I'm a die hard fan of pastries/cakes/desserts, especially those pretty ones I love them! 5 thumbs up like seriously!!

For 2 years, we loved, we quarreled, we fought, we have silent cold wars with each other like other couples would. I do not know what makes me worthy of his love for me, and I'm a girl with imperfections but he chose to look beyond all my imperfections and have faith in me more than I have faith in myself. And I thank god for such a person in my life.

I'll end off with the photo I love the most (but the quality sucks I really hate my camera sometimes). I don't know what the future holds for us, but I hope we can tide through together. You know I love you. (L)

Okay it's getting late, gna crash and the long weekends and activities lined up side by side during the weekends awaits me! Xoxo.

:)

To hell with

2010-03-29T00:06:00.004+08:00

To hell with time and management.

Somebody tell me how to manage time between different groups of friends, bf, family and studies at the same time.

It's like when you spend time with one party, you neglect the other. How.

I'm desperate. I think I need super powers of some sort.

So don't pin high hopes on me, because I will only disappoint.

Okay I've said my piece, kthxbye. And bloody hell, it's Monday.

Beautiful lil' thing

2010-03-27T20:24:00.001+08:00

The most selfish 1 letter word: I. Avoid it. The most satisfying 2 letter word: We. Use it. The most poisonous 3 letter word: Ego. Kill it. The most used 4 letter word: Love. Value it. The most pleasing 5 letter word: Smile. Keep it. The fastest spreading 6 letter word: Rumour. Ignore it. The hardest working 7 letter word: Success. Achieve it. The most enviable 8 letter word: Jealousy. Distance it. The most powerful 9 letter word: Knowledge. Acquire it. The most essential 10 letter word: Confidence. Trust it.

Hi everybody! :)

As I promised, I'm back with an update with visuals! I just got home not long ago from the hospital visiting my cousin and Julian! He's my newborn nephew! Here's some photos I took when I was at the hospital yesterday.

Presenting to you, Julian Christian Santiago! I think his name is damn cool. And he’s a Indian Chinese! Cool or cool. Super tiny and delicate! I have never seen a 2 days newborn baby in my entire life before so throughout the whole night I couldn’t take my eyes off him!

And did you know babies can only see things in black and white when they are just born?!? Damn cool I didn't know until like 2 days back. Hehehe super cute, the star of the family now! Bet he will grow up to a very handsum boi with big huge eyes with long eyelashes! :))) Hehehe I’m a aunt!

And last week I headed down to Sili’s place to bake cookies for my Ah Boy! Met her pretty early in the morning to get all the necessary things.

The more I look at the picture above, the more I think the mixture looks like ice cream HAHA disgusting I think I’m just being hungry.

Very chio with the little hearts on the top right!

And at first we got the first batch of the cookies all burnt, epic fail because we were damn noob HAHA we have got no idea how to operate the oven AT ALL. So we practically trial and error the functions of the oven and the temperature until we got it right. And we succeeded!!! HAHA DAMN PROUD OF MYSELF. :D

Me… Being and looking greedy as always HAHA.

We made oatmeal raisins too! Which I think tasted better than the chocolate chip one.

Happy pom pipi birds towards the end when we were almost done with everything because we spent the whole afternoon from 12 till 6 baking the cookies!! I know you’re reading this, touched anot!!! I spent time and put in my all my hard work you know! So you better be touched hahahahah.

Okay end of baking plus baby Julian post, will update on my second year with Louis soon! So goodnight world I’m out of here!

Update

2010-03-23T21:00:00.002+08:00

Wow, I have been neglecting this space of mine for a week! While I'm away, my hatred for attachment grew (and is still growing). Note the word, hatred. No one can ever imagine how much I hate it. It's causing my heart so much misery. And it seems like only Jiajia and I are complaining non stop! And I seriously mean NON STOP. Even Derek finds me whiney now HAHA.

On a lighter note, tomorrow is the day! The release of the results. AND, the day Louis and I turn 2 years old YEAH BABY. Time zooms like crazy shit. And as for my results, I'm trying to keep my expectations low. Because I believe the more you expect, the harder you fall.

I'm bloody excited for Thursday as well because it's the arrival of baby nephew Julian! Might be making a trip down to the hospital to visit my cousin and hopefully geta first glimpse of baby Julian! I'm already imaging how he will look like.

Friday I'mma head down to the airport because Grandfather is returning back to Singapore (!) after 2 months in China.

Woohoo, life is great (excluding the attachment part). And I'm well aware that my post recently are getting wordy. Promise to have pictures up for the upcoming posts. So till then! :)

March/April yeah baby

2010-03-16T21:34:00.003+08:00

As much as I dislike attachment.. I love this March/April!

I'm so loving the weekends filled with activities with the loved ones. I never fail to countdown to the weekends. This coming one I am on a secret mission! Hehe I am keeping my fingers crossed I hope I can succeed and I am tingling with much excitement. :}

And Grandfather's coming back from China next Friday I feel like going to the airport and greet him first thing with my wide smile (that is if time is on my side), and then there's the arrival of baby nephew Julian (!!!), and the stayover at Sili's, steamboat at SM's, the Genting trip and it's my second year with the Babyboy soon!

Tell me how not to feel excited!

(You may choose to) Ignore

2010-03-14T23:58:00.005+08:00

Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”
— Howard Thurman

Hi.

Time check, 11:59am now. Attachment tomorrow I should be sleeping but I want just to blog. If only Blogger has password protected post. Oh well.

I don't know how to put this. I think growing up sucks sometimes. Because when you grow up, you meet new people, you have a new life, then you start to neglect the smallest and simplest things (which are the important ones) around you, then you start to neglect some people. Okay maybe this just applies to me only.

I want to make a difference. I want to put an end to this but I don't know how. Sigh I think it sucks to be me seriously. I don't like the fact that I look so bo chap/stern/fierce/unconcerned on the surface. And I don't like the fact that I can't change that because that's how I look when I don't smile. I don't like the fact that I'm very concerned about a particular stuff but I don't know how to show my concern. Okay in short, I don't know how to express my feelings out. It's like I don't know how to open my heart out to people. It's like I'm silently building walls around me without myself noticing it. I want to take down these walls, but I don't know how. I tried overcoming this, I think I'm getting tad bit better but I know it's not good enough.

I know, I may look like I have an awesome life out there. And I must admit, for the life I'm living right now, I have no complains. But today, I realised I am missing out so much more. I just want to improve certain things you know. I need to take the first step. I want to be able to have the best of both (no actually not both but 3, kinship, friends and love) worlds but I don't know whether such a thing exist because I am already trying. Doing my best to manage time, trying to destroy the walls I'm building around me. Really.

I am missing a lot of things right now. Today I went over to Sili's place and I miss how lively it can get over at her place during the weekends when we were young, still going for swimming lessons back then. I miss being able to do nothing at all, but just talking and laughing at our nonsensical but happy childhood memories we had together. Having plans with her for the coming weekends, I'm looking forward to it, and I'm going to cherish every part of it. Tomorrow I'm meeting Cherie and I miss how we would do every single thing together, I miss how I would tell her every single detail of my life back then. I want to relive those moments like seriously.

The first step for an even more awesome, greater and meaningful days ahead, I'm taking it.

Ok time now is 1:01am. I really need to sleep before work at attachment kills me tomorrow so ciaos for now.

TGIF tomorrow

2010-03-11T20:53:00.001+08:00

Waddup world.

The freaking attachment is draining the shit out of me. Now I'm extremely exhausted, having flu with slight fever, plus pms (it's the time of the month). Best combination ever. How awesome.

And JT said I look like I belonged to the working class people there if I'm taller. I got so chao lao meh?!?!?

Yes few more hours and it's Friday! Having my haircut on Saturday and I'm going to meet Sili for some Body Shop shopping on Sunday. Plus a movie with the legendary Lin Mu Ni HAHA. With the attachment on going, every single weekends is worth looking forward to. Ok I shall go pop a panadol and off the to bed I go before this fever/flu spoils my weekends for me.

The end is here

2010-03-08T22:04:00.001+08:00

FINALLY.

Finally I have the time to sit down and update.

The end is here!!! :):):) Say hi to sweet liberation I'm lovin' it uh huh uh huh! The exam period this time round seems way longer than usual, I'm absolutely glad we're over and done with it because it drove us so mad seriously.

And the papers were HORRENDOUS. Made damn A LOT of bloody careless and stupid mistakes which I should never forgive myself for. I don't wna look at my results because I think I'm not going to well this time round sighhhh, we shall wait for the release of results and who knows, I might get a treat from M haha.

Okay anyway, some visuals from the happenings over last weekends below!

Headed for some sushis with D, J and SM after the last paper on Friday! Love their accompany. :) Made an impromptu decision to catch a movie that day as well.

We went separate ways after a short period of time after the movie. Bumped into Shihui, Justin and Company and I bought a new jeans!! And I'm lovin' it! :) Making plans to have a steamboat at SM's place soon, SM if you're reading this leave a comment ok!! :}

The following day I met Appleaf for lunch and Dear John! And she was so sweet, she bought the above toy duck keychain which can quack with a touch on the button on one side of it because it reminded her to me. :) Thanks girl!

Dear John wasn't really fantastic, I expected more but it was indeed rather heart wrenching which left Pinye and I tearing when the main character's father died. Then I went over to Sheralin's for a BBQ before Gil and Jannifer fly off for their OTIP.

I love 100% girls' company!

Had a game of Twister which was hilarious and tiring ttm! Try balancing, stretching and maintaining awkward and difficult positions at all means and laughing at the same time hahaha good calories burner I believe.

Twitter clan! (Y)

Sunday met Louis for breakfast and stay-at-home-dvd-day and my love for Mcgriddles is officially back. Love quality time over the weekends well spent with every single loved ones like this! (L)

Attachment has officially started for me today!! Typical boring and mundane attachment experience, I'm not exactly looking forward to it tomorrow but I'm glad I hit off well with JT who's attached there as well. And I'm really thankful the company's really near my place and the company provide transport straight to Sembawang after work awesome or what.

Really long since a proper and long update. Okay I'm mad exhausted and I'm starting to feel horribly grumpy and grouchy, haven't been sleeping much lately I ought to hit the sack early today so goodnight world.

Sweet

2010-03-06T09:44:00.003+08:00

"What am I? The Wizard of Oz? Need a heart? Need a brain? Go ahead, take mine, take everything that I have left."
- Jacob Black, The Twilight Saga

Hi cyber!!

I am contemplating to buy the whole Twilight Series.. Okay this is utterly random I know. And a new layout! Love the green. :} Anywaaay, the exams are officially over I'll be doing a real proper post maybe later on today after I get back from the BBQ! :}

Gna scoot off and get ready to head out now. Lunch and Dear John with Appleaf! :) Then BBQ for the OTIP people. The weekends are packed to the brim! And I love it like this, I love my friends. So bye space, I'm out of here now before I get myself late because that girl is always punctual, never late like seriously.

Wake up call

2010-02-24T10:26:00.004+08:00

Really need all these right now. I feel so fucked up, depressed, hopeless. And I tend to gorge a lot on sweets treats/junk food when I'm feeling like that. I NEED A WHOLE BOX OF THEM NOW.

It's like I'm fighting a losing battle. Why do I always have to screw things up to learn from it? Tell me why it works this way. Crap.

I am never going to forgive myself for this. Only have myself to blame. Lesson learnt.

FML much?

Hey, slow it down

2010-02-20T23:13:00.003+08:00

Hi I'm back for a really short update.

Point form.

Haven't been concentrating for the exams.
Made a bet with M, GPA above 3.8 my treat, below his treat. I think I won't make it, he gna lose bigtime haha.
Deprived of cny meetings.
Major major mad obsession for JY now.
Went out for a walk just now around evening with music plugged in and it was good, I like it like that.
Spent money on my obsession today.
Something's bothering me but I'm not spelling it out.
Want to go for movies.
Feel like singing/crying my heart out.
Running out of things, so kthxbye.

It's time to stop and ask yourself

2010-02-15T23:39:00.003+08:00

This time round, the world didn't turn their back against me. I'm turning my back against the whole world instead.

I don't know why but I think I need a kit kat, wna take a break from everything. Just want to focus on the upcoming exams.

So I'll be on a mini hiatus. Maybe till after the exams, or perhaps till I'm done figure things out on my own. Maybe I've small short updates posted up in the meantime.

So bye I'm out of here.

I'm going to make it on my own

2010-02-12T13:29:00.001+08:00

First step, take a deep breath
You don’t need a reason why
You can, you can take, take time
You can, you can walk, run, dive
Close call, you think you might fall
But all you gotta do is try
Even angels, even angels learn to fly
Fantasia - Even Angels

In love with this song.

Going bonkers because of ENVSTU. I think I really need luck for the paper later on. All I want now is for the paper to end. Be gone ENVSTU. I don't ever want to see you in my entire life again. Got to scoot off and head off for the paper now bye cyber.

Superhero?

2010-02-10T22:25:00.002+08:00

"I just wanted to say that there are few friends quite like you... You say things that I care about. You do things that matter. You make a difference to me. You make a difference to other people too. And I know for a fact that if you were not here.. I wouldn't like the world quite as much as I do now."
- Appleaf

I'm using purple because I know you love purple! :)

We sat at Mcdonald for 3 whole hours munching on dinner and talking non stop? Seriously NON stop, we never even pause for longer than 30 seconds. Prosperity meal with twister fries makes us happy kidz. 8) I am awed that the fact we can chit chat for such a long time about anything at all and it didn't even felt like we sat there for 3 hours. Thank you for the card and the photo. I'm keeping them in my wallet and everytime I reach for stuffs in my wallet I see your face! Much love.

Now for the... Ranting part.

I hate this hectic life of mine seriously. I barely have time for myself. BIA and PM&AI tests down already, NOW THE MAJOR ENVSTU A PAPER. I doubt I will do well. This is really slowly killing me. My life now revolves around tests? My mind is constantly thinking about exams and exams and exams. Bloody hell. And I am losing my drive.. Which isn't a very good thing at a time like these especially.

Superhero needed much? Batman, Transformers, Wonderwoman come and rescue me please.

Ok back to the lecture notes bye humans.

Life can be so simple?

2010-02-06T11:40:00.004+08:00

"Having courage does not mean that we are unafraid. Having courage and showing courage mean we face our fears. We are able to say, "I have fallen, but I will get up."
- Unknown

In my private little space, my room, with the radio tuned in, my table top messed up with lectures notes and papers all over.

I hear the fan. I smell the fragrance of what's mummy's whipping for lunch. I hear the bouncing of basketballs at the court just below my block.

I love staying at home at times like that. I love the quiet mornings and afternoons. And I may have mentioned to some of you guys out there, I can really stay cooped up in my room for hours sitting down, doing my own things. I know most of us can't sit still and hate staying in for the whole day, don't ask me how I do it, I don't know either.

Have been contemplating whether to change my layout for this space here, but I figure I would take an extremely long time fixing everything because sadly, I'm a damned perfectionist so I'm going to wait till after the exams probably.

3 upcoming tests this week, more than sufficient to keep me occupied throughout the weekends. Study away people! After the horrendous test week comes Vday and cny. Manage to squeeze some time to celebrate Vday on Saturday instead of the actual day itself (as you all know it's cny for god's sake it's really dumb and cny week is actually study week for me how awesome is that?!?!!??), I'm really feeling elated and yes I'm looking forward. :) Then cny! To be honest, I'm already in the mood to pig out, all the yummy cny goodies come to mama!

Might be meeting my evil twin for dinner this Tuesday, I hope she's available that day. :) Okay long wordy post, back to BIA zzzz so bye cyber.

Still alive but I'm barely breathing

2010-02-05T10:27:00.012+08:00

“Even though you may want to move forward in your life, you may have one foot on the brakes. In order to be free, we must learn how to let go. Release the hurt. Release the fear. Refuse to entertain your old pain. The energy it takes to hang onto the past is holding you back from a new life.”
— Mary Manin Morrissey

Yes I want to move forward but I have one foot on the brakes right now. Release the hurt and the fear.

Life is not fantastic these days.

Monday I cried. Tuesday Audrey flew back to Aus. Tuesday I cried alone at night. Wednesday I buried myself in lecture notes. Thursday I took a little breather, satisfied my craving for hokkien mee with Louis.

Today, Friday. I am planning to slog my life out once again. Today this date, the day I lost her a year ago. Outside I'm crying my heart out to her, inside I'm screaming 'where are you, I miss you' to her. Never thought it would be still as painful.

I wish this post could be private.

:(

2010-02-01T17:46:00.004+08:00

Today I went home after school and I cried. Blame it on the works of PMS partially. I hate myself for letting PMS take control of my emotions so easily I'm trying hard to fight against it but it never worked.

Things are not going my way at all.. First, the OTIP issue. Then the local ITP issue. It's driving me insane. The upcoming tests are not helping.

And I miss my grandmother. :( A lot. It's going to be a year this coming Friday. Whenever I walk pass funerals, I get reminded of the process of losing her all the time. Whenever I eat yummy curry, I think of her. Sometimes I look at photos of her in my phone and hold my phone so preciously close to my heart. I texted Sili today and got all teary. But I held back.. Because I didn't want people to ask me about it. Even as I am typing this.. I have tears in my eyes...

I was so close to crying during the long walk to the mrt station from school. Hell yes I am a fucking weakling I am bloody aware of that.

Fuck this shit, FML.

Nineteen

2010-01-31T15:44:00.002+08:00

Right, so I'm finally updating properly.. It's been a week since Jason's 19th now then I come and update on it HAHA overdue or overdue.

So anyway, it was awesome! We went to Marche for dinner, Audrey and Pinye were there too! :)

Did a wooden board thingy for him! :) We got him a cameraless phone for his NS too HAHAHA cool or cool. :} And we told him to guess what was it, it was like an epic fail totally because we gave him reaaaaally obvious clues until we gave up and told what was it HAHA.

My first visit to Marche and I think it’s cool because they operate by the ‘tap-card’ thingy hahaha and the food is pretty yumz! I love the calamari! :D Pizza’s awesome too!

Gave him a sort of surprise cake halfway didn’t mange to capture any photos with my camera. And I think it was someone was celebrating his birthday that day at Marche too as well!

After the dinner ZK left.. For I don’t know what reasons HAHA but ok anyway, the rest of us brought Jason to Eskibar! AND IT WAS MADNESS OVER THERE MAN AND I LIKE IT UH HUH UH HUHHHH. :}:}:}

Yes we crazily agreed to open a bottle of Martell there which costed a whopping 200bucks plus plus? Played games and the loser had to drink.. And Cherie was the ultimate winner hands down? I think she drank the least? HAHA and we the ultimate losers had to drink and drink until our heart went pumping like crazy and our faces red like chilli.

JUST LOOK AT US. We know drunk ikr but we’re seriously fine! HAHAHA Cherie and WL look so sane among us like seriously hahahahahaha.

SEE OUR FACES. All glowing in red except for WL and Cherie my goodness HAHA.

Then we got very very hyped up towards the end which explains the photo below HAHAHA.

I love these people!! :))))) Cherie and I cabbed home after that, initially wanted to go over to WL's and stayover but I was just too tired hahaha. The rest went ahead with the plan anyway. Fabulous 19th for Jason and I'm glad that he's happy throughout. :) Have been meeting them quite a lot nowadays, I likeeeee and I can never get sick of them! :}

And it's the last day of January? Wth time flies like nobody's business totally. Ok need to go now, heading for family's dinner soon!

Weekends

2010-01-29T11:35:00.001+08:00

Today, Friday. Time to clear the presentations, tutorials and get going on the upcoming tests. I CAN DO THIS. 8) Gna meet the girls and the guys for Minds and then Timbre at night later on.

Am craving for cupcakes/muffins/pastries now.

Tomorrow, stay at home Saturday. Am going to make full use of the time and conquer those bloody modules. (Y) And watch Down With Love featuring my very very very tasty Jerry Yan on Channel U at night. I like the idea of this. :) I'm a homey person!

The day after tomorrow, Sunday. Maybe chillax for awhile, and head out to have mass family dinner with my aunts, uncles and cousins before Grandpapa leaves for China! Looking forward. Home is where the heart, family and warmth is. :)

Out of here, maybe going to do a post soon either tomorrow or on Sunday.

Live it up, drink it down, laugh it off

2010-01-23T19:58:00.001+08:00

Hi guys, woah I'm only blogging one a week basis. Time is really insufficient for me ever since school starts ok I think this is the umpteen times I've mentioned it ok whatever.

Had the MOST awesome chalet ever of the year over the last weekends! (Y) Fast food, BBQ, loads of seriously never ending and abs training hardcore laughing which left us gasping for air, photo spamming like crazy (especially unglam ones), poker cards, junk food and junk food and more junk food, major crude and seriously M18 stuff (I LIKE HAHAH), alcohol in the broad day light hahahaha, chit chatting. I love these people like crazy. \m/ Okay get ready for some major photo spam here! :}

On the way to the chalet! Oh did I mention Cherie, Jason and I went for our BTT before that and we passed! :) FTT up next!

Mad hungry even before we reached the chalet, so we went munching on chips/bubble tea. After which we went to rent our bikes for night cycling later in the night before we went for dinner at Superdog!!

And it was because of this photo I hit my foot against the solid, hard and tensile modulus (HAHA polymer ftw this is what happens when you get tensile strength, amorphous, crystallinity of materials blah blah drilled into your head everyday) seat we were sitting on. And I had 3 injuries that day in less than 24 hours HAHA. I. Am. Super. Accident. Prone. I burnt myself during the practical in school earlier on that day, then the cut on my foot because of the seat and another cut on my toe due to cycling. There's still a hole on my hand looool ugly shitz and the cuts on my feet are healing already.

Oh yes, we wanted to have a go on this wheel after dinner because we had free admissions but then it was on some upgrade maintenance nonsense. So went to NTUC and bought a other things for the BBQ.

Very very extremely unhealthy and fattening diets for those 3 days because it was fast food for dinner for day 1, then day 2 fast food for lunch and BBQ for dinner, day 3 had Mcdonald’s breakfast before heading home. Not only that but we were constantly munching and snacking on cookies/chips and drinking in the morning/afternoon.

BBQ! Awesome food with Yusoon as the certified most efficient fire starter person ever, Pinye the butter woman, Cheryl the satay woman (THE SATAY WAS YUMZ TOTALLY), Jason the cameraman, and poor Kennard fell sick. He and Jason actually came and stayed for the first night, then the next morning they went for promotion test for the juniors in school with like 2 or 3 hours of sleep (?) very very hardcore, are they awesome or what! (Y)

Yay presenting to you, Squad 4 all grown up. The love, fun, energy, madness never dies yea!!! :}:}:} Time flies when you're with your favourite people yes? I love the part where the girls can hug each other to sleep. I love how we can talk about anything and everything under the sun. I love it when we sat in a row singing all the np songs, not caring how other people look at us. I love it when we show concern for each other without hiding it. I love the way how the guys took care of the girls. And I'm proud to say that I am glad that np groomed us into such wonderful people. :) LOVE TO EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YALL. (L)

Cycling at Ubin next please!!! :D

Loosen up

2010-01-20T09:06:00.003+08:00

"Run when you can, walk when you have to, crawl if you must; just never give up."
- The way I see it

Okay I've have a couple of things to blog about, pretty overdue because I have so much things on my hand right now I don't have the time at all, but I promise I will try and do a proper post by the end of this week so stay tune alright (if anyone is still reading my rotting and already decomposing blog).

Sigh I hate this kind of life? Constantly in my mind I'm thinking about school work/reports/assignments and deadlines even when I'm out. Is it just me alone feeling this? I feel so damn tied down, I am almost giving up. I NEED A SECOND TO BREATHE.

Everyone put your hands up

2010-01-12T19:59:00.000+08:00

I think I am starting to neglect this space a lil', but I'm back for an update now! School and stuffs are keeping me pretty busy.. And I should really stop going out and meeting people because it ain't the holidays now already. I need to get back to my studies and be a geek for the rest of the month. 8)

So anyway, last Wednesday I met the girls after school and we went for singing at Kboxxx. :} Such madness and fun when I'm with them. (Y)

I will always remember the crazy rapping Pinye did and Audrey dancing to Yaoyao’s song HAHAHA. They mean so much to me and I can never get sick of these few. :)

Last Friday was Polymer Night in school and it was awesome! We did hardcore camwhoring with Gil's and Jan's DSLR. And I'mma going to get my polaroid soooon. We took like 900 over photos in a day can you believe it hahahaha. :}

Balloons frenzy! Me luv balloons. :D We had preparations before the actual thing at night, and there we were blowing up balloons non stop and we found out that Royston couldn’t blow balloons at all hahahah super hilarious. I swear I had the best of the best calorie burner that night man. (Y)

It was Royston's 19th that day so we surprised him with a cake! :}

WOOHOO 21 AND 22 (L)(L) with some of the lecturers who taught us before/still teaching us now. I double like this photo please! :))))

More photos from my camera and the DSLR up on Facebook! Mad fun and had a hard laugh with everyone that night because almost everybody was hyped up towards the end. Got to know some of the Year 3s too. Was a tiring day but I liked it because I think organising and preparing for it bonded everyone together! :) Cab home with Derek, Yangyi and Jayne that night and it was so infuriating because we waited for at least 30 minutes but NO CAB IN SIGHT. Either that or the available cabs refuse to stop for us. And the opposite side of the road was buzzing with cabs zooming past, so we decided to go over to the other side and the moment we reached there we got ourselves a cab wahlau you tell me angry anot.

Okay end of Kbox with girls and Polymer Night post! In the mean time, school and assignments and other activities are enough to knock me out anytime I need a breather so till then, I hope I have the time to update this space more often bye humans!

Not enough for what it is

2010-01-05T22:04:00.000+08:00

“We lie together. Smiling and holding on to each other and the night and the moment. We stare into each other’s eyes and softly kiss, speaking and saying more with the movement of our lips and the tips of our fingers, more than words will allows us to say. Words can’t say this. The one word love means too little for what it is. It means everything and that is still not enough. It doesn’t communicate even a fraction of the feelings involved. Love. The word is not enough for what it is. Love. Love.”
— A Little Million Pieces, James Frey

Yesssss, I love this paragraph. Love. This word is never enough for what it is. Love so great, love so amazing, love can overcome and conquer anything. Yes I believe in love. Be it love between families, friends and lovers.

At this point of my life, I feel loved. Loved by L, my friends, my parents, my cousins and grandpapa. :) I am thankful. Thankful for every single one of you out there who once played or are still playing a part of my life.

Overdue

2010-01-04T23:10:00.000+08:00

Hi world! :}

School has started for me again and I've already gotten rid of those blood suckers assignments and report, say yay! I feel so liberated with all these off my mind. :)

Okay alright, this was going to be a post with overdue photos, but apparently I got lazy.. :D So I'mma just going to summarise!

Had a very simple celebration for Z for his 18th. We attempted to bake a cake for him over at WL's and we're good!! :) Audrey came along that day too! And surprise at Z's was a big success because his expression was, :O when he saw the lighted candles on the cake with us in his room HAHA.
Went for countdown over at WL's and gamblers in the house yo hahaha gambled the night away, too bad we couldn't have any alcohol (we're good kidz) or else it will be even more awesomeeee. I cabbed back home for my beauty sleep HAHA I'M A PIG while the rest continued staying up.
Picnic with the girls at Barrage the following morning was fabbb! (L) Our kite committed suicide and drowned though. Let's do this again!!! 8D

A couple of things coming up this week. Polymer Night this Friday! Might be catching Alvin and the Chipmunks before we start on the preparations. And the girls are crashing next Wednesday! Super looking forward.

I am mad tired so I'm gonna crash! Goodnight world.

2010

2010-01-01T23:59:00.002+08:00

"We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year’s Day."

1st Jan 2010, the first day of the rest of my life. 2009 had came to an end and 2010 feels so surreal. 2009, a lot of had happened..

The most major one, I witnessed someone so dear to me slowly leaving us slowly.. It was painful, it still hurts now. I still cry even up till now. I miss her. I think through this experience, I've learned to be tad bit stronger, I'm still working on it. Because of her, I understood the importance of kinship. Because of her, I loving my family better, grandfather, cousins included.

I've seen how fragile this life is. Not just life, friendship included. Bonds were tightened with some, but there are those who come and go. Tell why certain can be so fragile. 2009, I’ve learned how to let go better.

Nevertheless, I've also seen real love that really exists between friends. Squad 4, you all are the ones I went through so much with. It's no wonder Ms Choi mentioned that we'll still be friends 10 years down the road during our farewell some 3 years ago. So true indeed. And not to forget the usual 4 I always hang out with. And of course, the best of the bestest girls I have ever known. I am most thankful for all of you.

Talk about love. At the same time, I am really thankful for Louis. We went through quite a lot, we almost lost our directions, but I've learned how to love someone, I'm still in the process of improving and thank you for showering your never endless love onto me and thank you for tolerating me because I know I haven't been the best girl. And I've learned that it's more than just love to keep a relationship going. Nobody said it was going to be easy, so I am going to try and try to keep things going.

New year, new fears. Honestly, I don't feel good about 2010, got no idea why but it's just how I'm feeling.. Everything feels so surreal. 2009 passed so quickly, and it's scary. I have no idea how I am going to cope through 2010, I have no idea what to do with my life. I FEEL AS IF I'M HAVING SOME QUARTER LIFE CRISIS OR SOMETHING. Tell me this is normal, somebody? Shucks, what is this I am feeling man seriously.

Very corny stuff, but apparently I don't care. I have a couple of overdue posts streaming in, so till then. Lastly, Happy new year to all out there. :)

Honey

2009-12-29T21:45:00.004+08:00

“You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.”

— Dr. Seuss

Hi Love, where'd you go I miss you so.

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me

2009-12-28T00:33:00.000+08:00

We went to some new ecogreen shopping mall at Farrer Park because 1. we thought it won't be as crowded, 2. we don't want to squeeze like mad in town and 3. I have never been there before! And I have no idea why it's ecogreen there's a park or garden sort of thing in front of the mall though.

So anyway, we had dinner at some Italian restaurant called Saizeriya Ristorante Caffe.

We took super long to decide on our orders, I wanted to have a go on the squid ink pasta but I was afraid the ink will stain my teeth, so I gave that a miss. I’m going to have that the next time I visit the place! Though the food look pretty normal but it’s marvelous, fanstastic ttm and I am not exaggerating! (Y)(Y) Thumbs up totally! Luvvvv the food ttm. :}

He decided that he wasn’t going to be full so he ordered another pizza. Purposely give me those bigger slices somemore. Bully one lor this guy, but the pizza very yummyz lah hahahaha. :D After the dinner I felt so happy because the food was so satisfying! HAHA I’M A PIG. :}

And he broke his big and nerdy spectacles which he bought like this year hahaha so he got himself another pair.. Bet it will break sooner or later lolololol okay this is very random.

I love this flower! Spotted it at the small garden sort of thing outside the mall so I went to snap a picture of it. Look so much like butterflies! So prettaye.

Yay, simple dinner with Louis on Christmas day makes me a happy girl. :):) Xoxo, many more Christmas with him to come! :D Oh yes, I bumped into Sean that day when I was on the way to meet Louis.

I am embarking on a secret mission later on in the afternoon and I am very much excited! :} I ought to be sleeping now so bye humans! :)

Joy to the world

2009-12-26T01:08:00.000+08:00

Happy Boxing Day everyone out there! :) Alrighty honestly, I am feeling pretty lazy to post this but.. I have nothing better to do today so here am I.

So we had a bbq over at June’s on the 23rd, for an early Christmas thing. Before that I went over to Jacq’s to complete an assignment, killjoy seriously but at least we have one assignment down! And that poor girl was down with sore throat that day. Okay mainly some random photos so here we goooo.

See that most nicely wrapped and pretty and awesome gift with the blue ribbon attached to it! I GOT IT I GOT IT!! :D

We reached there and gotten the charcoals burning hot and food cooking then we realised we forgot to buy plates hahahaha. So we send Ivan Lim and Wei Leng to go get the plates.. And we completely and totally forgotten all about the marshmallows, when the two of them came back then we realised hahaha. So no marshmallows this time round which felt kind of weird. What’s bbq without marshmallows right!!

Jasmine was going to leave so we decided it was time for the gift exchange!

Happy people with gifts for everyone each! Oh yes, June bought condoms as the gift HAHAHA WTH. Initially we drew lots and Jovian got the condoms then we redrew lots again because Wei Leng got back her own gift. So this time round, Jacq gotten the condoms HAHA (poor girl sick already still nevermind, got the condoms as gift somemore).

Yes as usual, more photos already up on Facebook. ‘Christmas with Louis’ post coming up next! Getting late and I can just drop dead now so I'm out of here, so till then!

Nothing beats that

2009-12-24T01:41:00.000+08:00

Hi humanzz.

Met up with the girls for lunch on Tuesday and we caught up a little, it was gooood.

I think I look very cock in the photo but oh well whatever hahaha. And I seriously think PH people are the best? (Y)(Y) Totally. It feels so different when I'm with them, so damn comfortable y'know like I’ve known them my entire life. Talked over lunch at Breeks (my first time there) and I realised we've all experienced the same weird things hurhur, nevermind if you out there reading and you don't understand. We should do this more often yeaaa. Love you people ttm. (L)

Just came back from an early Christmas BBQ, will probably post about that next time, and right now I am mad tired my bed is calling for me so nights cyber.

The season to be jolly

2009-12-21T10:00:00.007+08:00

Christmas gift suggestions:
To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, your heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To yourself, respect.

Helloooo I think I'm blogging too excessively but oh well. :)

Hi Jan! I am fine tyvm, it's the season to be jolly so I'm going to push those horrible things away from my mind and just be happy! :) Tyvm for your comment, now I know there's someone there for me! Hehehe love you very much too. :)

It's like I've suddenly wake up from a nightmare and today I feel... Different. I feel chirpy, thankful and everything good. Maybe it's under the influence of the season haha. I'm hoping I can stay like this till the end of the holidays. :}

I am suddenly feeling excited and looking very much forward to the rest of the activities for the rest of the holidays. I'm going to meet the girls for lunch tomorrow, then it's the Xmas BBQ on Wednesday, maybe visiting Louis's Aunt new place (she just moved and she is now living opposite me just a road across hahaha so cool) on Thursday then it's Christmas on Friday!! Still making plans with Louis for Christmas day itself. So pictures coming up for the upcoming posts!

And I haven't been doing any shopping and my cash is already running low (sigh sigh sigh money not enough $$$$$) and every where's like packed with people like sardines and it really spoils the shopping mood.

Okay so today I am going to stay in and finish as much reports/assignments as possible. I am out of here bye worldz. :)

Sorry but the world is so cruel

2009-12-19T14:58:00.003+08:00

Hi soml.blogspot.com,

I would like to say,

I feel like shit now.
Something is bothering me.
I think I screwed up again. It always will be me. Always have, always will.
I'm tired of the works of pms.
I'm tired of going to shit storms in life.
I feel sad, I don't feel like speaking and I am going to camp in my room for the rest of the day and tomorrow, probably.
Maybe Monday too because everyone's too busy for me, I'm a sad kid because of that. I should just finish the damn reports.
I think some people should stfu if they know shit about what's going on?
I feel horrible enough to make me feel like a bitch so don't be stupid and provoke me further and make me say things I don't want to at you tyvm.

Kthxbye.

Maybe some things aren't meant to be

2009-12-18T21:33:00.003+08:00

Ohkay, wordy post today. So one week of holidays had gone past, two more weeks to go, yet there's many more things I wna do and it's back to school I hate the hectic life so I am dreading it very much already. :(

Anyhow, met up with Pinye and Yusoon (he left like after 15 minutes or so) to decide on the food on the chalet yesterday! And it's more or less done. :) After that, Pinye and I made an impromptu decision to go over to Cheryl's. AND WE FELL ASLEEP, WE FORGOT TO TAKE PHOTOS. :(

Met with B one of the days too, caught Avatar and I think it's awesome, love the blue aliens yeah manzxzz. :D And I realised I've found a real friend in B because we could talk about anything under the sun, I could really be myself. B, if you're reading this, you know who you are! :)

And today on the walk back home, I realised.. If things are meant to be/happen, they will. Don't have to try so hard yea. But then again, certain things are worth fighting for yes? Or maybe this could be just an excuse for not trying hard enough. Haha sheesh, I can never figure this out.

Live in the name of love

2009-12-17T00:09:00.000+08:00

"It's good to be just plain happy, it's a little better to know that you're happy; but to understand that you're happy and to know why and how and still be happy, be happy in the being and the knowing, well that is beyond happiness, that is bliss."

I am truly blissful and happy. You are my happiness.

Hi cyber! :)

After ten thousand years of procrastination/failed plans (due to the weather), Louis and I finally went to the zoo on yesterday! Weather was good, not too warm and it didn’t rained at all until we were leaving! :)

I think some of the animals there are awesome! They just sit there, give you a marvelous pose and let you snap away. Awesome or what hahahaha.

Ah Meng! I think it's so sad because I don't remember seeing her at all when I went to the zoo when I was much younger and now she's gone already.

Taken during one of the 3 shows we went. Love this seal! Called Carlos, had Louis and I smiling/laughing non stop, awed at his level of intelligence and cuteness. Love the elephants too, which performed over at another exhibit. More photos uploaded on Facebook!

The tallest polar bear ever, two times my height!! NATURE ROCKS OR WHAT. Cool shitttt, Louis and I were so amazed seriously hahaha. And a leopard there was right next to me just with the exhibit glass as a boundary between us, it came soooo near I was so excited HAHAHA okay I sound like I have never been to the zoo.

Me and my o-biang specs! :D I was telling him o-biang is the new thing now and he just laughed hahaha. You guys can see the o-biang me during the chalet alright fellow squadmates (unless I managed to get a new specs but apparently I can't really be bothered). :D

We went home with surprisingly no mosquitoes bites! Long day out walking throughout, but time passed really quickly. And he always tells me, "Good quality time always pass fast when you're with your loved one." Yesss, true indeed. :)

I never knew the answers

2009-12-16T00:20:00.006+08:00

(edited 10:35AM)

"It’s sad, really. People rust. They evaporate. They slowly erase. And we wonder what happened. Was it our fault or theirs? Did we neglect the friendship or did they no longer need what we had to give? The boys, the girls. One day their names will begin with, “you know, whats her name.” It’s tough when you realize that the nature of relationships is constantly evolving, despite every attempt you make to make it last. To live in love. To freeze people in memory. The rest of my life will be a continuous series of beginnings, of handshakes and text avoidance. Someone freeze me."

Yes, was it negligence or I'm no longer needed? So what if sacrifices were made? But let's face it, sometimes people don't give a shit if you've made sacrifices. Yes, despite trying hard to make it last, sometimes things never do yea. Sometimes you wna live for yourself but you realised you can't, because the people around you matter so much more than yourself. Sacrifices are not enough. Nothing's ever enough. Bad friend, bad lover or both? You tell me.

Happiness happens

2009-12-14T19:48:00.000+08:00

Back with a short update! :)

After the papers on Thursday was stay at home night over at Louis's, caught Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, and had Louis's papa fried rice yummyyyyy. :D Friday I had dinner with him. Simply days like these are enough to make me happy. :)

Saturday Cherie, Jason and I went for a secret mission hahahaha. :D And WL is a sucker because he ps and went to book for BTT when he was the one who wanted go enroll and book everything together. Don't comment and come and kp me hor hahaha.

So anyway, we went to the airport and we had Popeyes there for lunch at freaking 4pm we were starving like hell. Suffered from laughing gas attack there because of Jason.

Went to collect my passport today, malaysia uh huh uh huh. :} Changes of plan, tomorrow's zoo with Louis! Looking pretty forward, so please don't let it rain let the sun shine in! This week's bustling with activities. And I'm loving the holidays so far, am loving the carefree kind of mood. :)

Finally free

2009-12-11T17:31:00.001+08:00

SUP WORLD.

YES. The MST ended, I think I'm going to do quite badly this time round because I always reach home and I suddenly realised I had damn a lot of careless mistakes. Sigh sigh sigh, I hate this feeling when you know you made a mistake but you can't do anything about it. But anyway, hellooooo the ~~pathetic~~ 3 weeks holidays! It's going to be hectic because I have already got quite a number of dates strike off my calendar and there's so many assignments and reports but I could just used to life like this. :}

I've got the urge to dye my freaking hair (*rooooolls eyes* for ten thousand years I have been mentioning this and I know in the end I'll still never gna do this, typical of me hurhur),
I want to get an airbrush (I wanted to get an ink but I'll never find the courage to do so, so maybe an airbrush will do hahahaha),
I wna go to the night safari (!! never been there in my entire life yet).
I wna go Sentosa and get a darker tan (when I think of Sentosa, Jannifer I think of you! are you reading!?!? shopping tooooo),
I wna go to the zoo (planning to on Wednesday with Louis if it doesn't rain),
I wna go Hendersen's Wave,
And the list goes onnnn. :) TIME TO MEET MY DEAR FRIENDS. :}

My new passport is ready too! I guess I'll be going on a trip to Malaysia for a day or something with Jacq & Company if time is on our side, Idk. Oh yes, the chalet for Squad 4 was already booked! GOODNESS, I cannot believe it even till now hahahaha can't contain my excitement. It will be da bomb seriously woohoo.

Okay abrupt end, I'mma going to scoot off and meet Louis for dinner.

Mummy so cute

2009-12-08T17:15:00.005+08:00

Those 'As' weren't there when I left home for the paper today. Mummy wrote them. Even Mummy's rooting me! My mother so cute hahahaha. :)

3 down, 3 to go and I'm done with MST! GO FOR IT.

Where do I go from here without you

2009-12-07T09:02:00.015+08:00

If we crawl till we can walk again
Then we'll run until we're strong enough to jump
Then we'll fly until there is no wind
So let's crawl, crawl, crawl
Chris Brown - Crawl

My number 1 in my playlist now. Let's crawl, walk, jump then fly. Who's willing to crawl with me?

Random post.

Sometimes, I think I've made a big mistake in the past to screw O Levels. If only back then I knew who important it was. If only back then I studied, maybe I'll be part of Cherie, Jason and everyone else who's in IJC. Maybe I'll be happier, not that I'm not happy now but I'm a greedy bitch. I mean maybe I could be even happier yea? JC and A Levels' tough, but I think ever made it there, these people will tide me through. I hate the fact that people move on, I hate the fact other people have their own lives to live, I hate the fact that some things don't ever stay the same, I hate the fact maybe I'll be forgotten someday. Maybe I've grown so deeply attached to these people, or maybe I'm just being possessive, oh I don't know. I miss those days. I know, it's the same old cliche, but yeah I mean it seriously x1000000.

Utterly stupid and big mistake. The smallest step you take defines your life yea?

So let's make better mistakes tomorrow.

What's you without me, & what's me without you?

2009-12-06T12:12:00.006+08:00

“We were meant to lose people we love. How else would we know how important they are?”
— The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

What if I already knew how important people I love are to me from day 1? Then I won't need them to leave to let me know how important they are right? But they left anyway, slowly without noticing. Who's gna stick with me for another 10 years down the road?

Seasons have changed, so have we. But I'm still holding on to those memories.

No, it's not Louis and me but it's something else. Go figure.

What is this I am feeling. Shucks man, I don't need this shit to come running to me when I am already problems focusing for the MST. I'M TURNING INTO SOME EMO SHIT KID, NOOOO.

Anyway, I think I'll only be back after my papers because I reckon my life will be a mundane, lifeless one for the next 5 days.

Take a deep breath, and keep going

2009-12-03T00:07:00.002+08:00

I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.
-Michael Jordan

I'm not afraid of falling, I'm afraid of the excruciating pain but pain makes us human, pain makes us feel alive.

It's December already! I'm pretty much excited for the holidays, there's much things I wna do, so many places I'm planning to visit. Sentosa, Henderson Waves, Night Safari, airbrush, MI PAE Gathering (!!), Christmas, ZK's Birthday, countdown to 2010 and the chalet with my beloved squad mates, come to mamaaaa. Time however, very unfortunately, is not on my side with mountain high piles of assignments and reports. I think it will take me a jolly good 1 week to complete everything. >:(

Meanwhile, I'm slogging my life away day and night for the blood sucking MST. Have been sleeping at 1 or 2am for the past few days and waking up at 5:30 for school, tired shit. I shan't complain and whine anymore, I'm going to make the best out of things and it will be over soon! Okay I shall go to bed a tad bit earlier tonight, goodnight world.

Crumple and fall

2009-11-30T21:33:00.005+08:00

“Expecting life to treat you well because you are a good person is like expecting an angry bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.”

Yeah, life's a bitch. Always have, always will.

As I am typing this, I am feeling discouraged, so damn stressed up and faithless in myself.

The feeling's back. Everytime I tell myself, "I can do it" to keep me going, to serve as a motivation but now the emotion of giving up is slowly taking over me soon. I hate giving up, I hate surrendering but I think I can't do it anymore. :( I hate this seriously.

There's too little time, too much to do.

At times like this, I wish I was born a lil' less self-driven and a bit more happy go lucky.

Steal the sun, stars and moon from the sky for you

2009-11-29T15:31:00.001+08:00

“True love doesn’t happen right away; it’s an ever-growing process. It develops after you’ve gone through many ups and downs, when you’ve suffered together, cried together, laughed together.”

We laughed, we cried, we suffered. I've found love, be it in friends/lover. :)

Did I ever mention I bumped into Pinye last Sunday when I was at Woodlands library with Jason? Cherie met us later. We had such a good time that day, laughing at Pinye HAHAHA SHE'S STILL AS HILARIOUS AS EVER. I love simple times like this. :) I'm texting her now, she NEVER fails to make me smile/laugh. :) Looking at the photos we took at Ms Chong's birthday celebration, and I'm smiling from ear to ear, we always have so much fun. Gosh, I love these people oh so very much.

We're infinite

2009-11-28T10:44:00.001+08:00

"You are like a sunset to me. You’re all kinds of beautiful as you end my day and you sweetly retire as stars chase you away."

Hello, my sunset. :)

So anyway, for the past one week life was a roller coaster ride of emotions. Those who showed concern, thanks. But it's all over, I'm me again, I'm back and things are getting better. :) When you lose something, you gain something in return yes I believe in that. I lost tears, but now I’ve gained something even better. :) So basically, my life now revolves around lectures, tutorials, more practicals, more bloody reports, reading magazines, wholemeal bread with tuna (ftw!!), racing with time, finding more time to do things I need to do, trying to spend more time with Louis at the same time, trying to revise for the damn upcoming mst my brains are already half exploding,

2012 was so so. Yes I caught it last week, the movie was alright and typical. No much of a 'wowww' thing and not much climax. My favourite part of the movie was the credit part, when they started playing Time For Miracles HAHA. Okay some pictures.

Yes, A levels had already ended for some and Cherie's having her last one really soon, I feel ridiculously excited HAHA. Our cruise! :D Jason, I want to shop! And I'm super looking forward to meeting Squad 4! And the chalet is freaking happening!! I bet it will be the most awesome one ever. :) SQUAD 4 FTW, SERIOUSLY LIKE SERIOUSLY.

Alright, I'm going to scoot off and start revising for mst, I feel so god damn unprepared. And one of my favourite movie, Pirates of the Caribbean (Captain Jack Sparrow!!!) is showing on Channel 5 tonight and tomorrow night, I can never get sick of watch it again and again but I think I'm going to give it a miss because I need to study like a geek. :( I have no life and my life is sad because of mst. :( Okay bye humans beings.

About a guy and a girl

2009-11-26T00:06:00.001+08:00

“For any of us our forever could end in an hour, or a hundred years from now. You can never know for sure, so you’d better make every second count.”

— The Truth About Forever, Sarah Dessen

Yeah, that's for sure because I've been there.

I'm learning to look things from another perspective. I'm kind of glad we went through all these. Because now I know things which I don't previously, now I know how much love he invested in me.

That night I witnessed his love so now I know.

I'm still learning

2009-11-24T08:53:00.002+08:00

I’m saying sorry in advance cos this won’t always go to plan
Though we don’t mean to take our love for granted
It's in our nature to forget what matters
How when the going is getting tough
And we’re all about giving up
Things that we never thought we’d gonna say, gonna say them
Things that we never thought we’d play, gonna play them
It ain’t perfect, but it’s worth it
And it’s always getting better
It’s gonna take some time to get it right

Cause I’m still learning the art of love
I’m still trying to not mess up
So whenever I stumble let me know
You need to spell it out
You need to spell it out
You need to spell it out
You need to spell it out for me
Cause I’m still trying to learn the art of love

Guy Sebastian ft. Jordin Sparks - The Art of Love

Now who's gonna fall me when I fall

2009-11-21T10:40:00.006+08:00

“I am coming to terms with the fact that loving someone requires a leap of faith, and that a soft landing is never guaranteed. ”

— Sarah Dessen

Maybe I lost it. I'm going to have to find it back.

Last tonight was a bad night to be alone. I reached home, I felt like s.h.i.t and all I want to do is sleep. Sleep the pain away, sleep that 'I'm-going-to-burst-anytime' feeling away. Most of the time I say I'm okay, I'm lying.

Today's a stay at home Saturday. I hope to make this weekend a productive one. I've got so much on my hands now so much work uncompleted, I don't need any more trouble/problem to be constantly wearing me out. Life can be such a fuckin' bitch seriously.

I'm going to nua abit for now and start on my 'to-do-list' after lunch. Bye world.

Dilemma

2009-11-18T18:55:00.001+08:00

I think I'm having second thoughts for OITP. Gosh, I have no idea what I want. It's like one moment I'm fine with the whole idea of going over there, but there are times I feel so uncertain and skeptical about it.

What's holding me back?

The bloody cold weather there. I know, I'm just being stupid. But I can't stand cold weather for god sake. I bet with my life my nose will act up everyday and I'll fall sick. Confirm guarantee chop plus stamp. But I know... No doubt it's a good opportunity. Call me fickle.

My mother's asking me about it everyday. So I've been thinking almost every night before I go to bed. Shucks, I hate this. I hate making decisions but life is about making decisions isn't it? Gosh.

Meanwhile, I'm looking very very forward to the weekends. :)

Show some concern

2009-11-16T22:31:00.005+08:00

The only one awake at home right now (okay actually there's only Mummy and me), with the radio tuned in to 913fm, me feeling horribly tired I don't know why. Gosh, I think I'm gonna falling sick if this continues. The weather is insane, it's hot then it's freezing. Thank god because school starts at 10 tomorrow.

Okay so a lil' short update before I hit the sack. I managed to get my hair cut last weekend. Gonna catch 2012 this Friday, if everything goes well. And school's keeping me rather busy AND tired. REALLY tired. And it's mad because the mid semester tests are drawing near, my goodness. Makes me wonder what makes the A levels students hold on and press on for so long. I think they have more rights to give up and surrender than me. So I mustn't, and I ain't giving up. Yet. I think I should just sleep during the 2 hours break tomorrow. Furthermore, a tired me results in me lagging behind the class during lecture and it makes me VERY cranky. I think Jacq will understand what I mean haha.

So I ought to go to bed already. A pretty pointless post, but oh well. Will update when there's something worth updating about, so bye I'm out of here.

Let live

2009-11-13T19:27:00.001+08:00

This week?

I was dying to shop.

I changed the layout.

I craved for Popeyes (again).

I decided it's time for a haircut.

I wished Kennedy happy birthday.

I bought a high waist skirt and I'm loving it.

I made plans with Jacq to watch 2012 next Friday.

I told some close ones out there 'all the best' for A levels.

I met Muneer on Thursday and we went to school together.

I was driven insane all because of those never ending reports.

I took my passport photo so that I can apply for the new passport.

I ate KFC's bandito pockett meal after such a long time and I love it.

I had an really intense impulse to get the Ipod Nano and I think I'm going to get it soon.

I think I am being to dislike Process Instrumentation because I have absolutely no freaking idea what's going on, but I keep telling myself I can conquer it and I will learn to love this module.

I kept thinking

2009-11-09T22:06:00.004+08:00

"There will come a day, when you'll feel like shit and you'll want to give up on this life and everything else. When that day arrives, save yourself some trouble and don't do a thing. Just take a nap."
- Wordboner

Yeah exactly what I'm feeling, LIKE SHIT. I hope a good night sleep helps.

I feel unmotivated and faithless. Where's that motivation, faith and determination I used to have. Seems to vanish into thin air overnight.

And I don't want to care no more, but I know I can't do that. I know I won't put aside my responsibilities and everything and just simply don't give a damn. And sometimes I hate myself for that, seriously. Because it's tiring to be constantly reminding myself to do the right thing, to be responsible, to be constantly pushing myself to be better.

To sum it all up, I think I'm doing things which I don't want to but I'm doing it because I have to. Get it?

And no one comments nowadays! Maybe I should remove the comment link soon.

Gosh I don't know what's happening but no worries, I choose to believe I will be fine after a good night sleep.

Last man standing

2009-11-07T13:29:00.007+08:00

Yesss, it’s the weekends baby! Yesterday was Suki Sushi buffet with Jacq, SM, Michelle, Royston and CH at Cineleisure after school! It was 5 hours of sashimi, cream puffs, sushi, laughing, playing ‘guess-the-number’ game. Madness really.

Woohoo, love ttm! We had like 3 full plates of sashimi. I never dared to eat the raw prawn because I ate it when I was very young and I thought it was gross but Jacq and SM were telling me it’s damn nice so I had a go on the raw prawns or whatever you call it. Now I love it absolutely, it’s funny how our appetite varies time to time. Like how I used to hate runny egg yolks I thought they were yucky but now I love them too!

We really sat there for around 5 hours straight (expect for going for toilet breaks etc) eating at our own pace, taking our own sweet time. And I actually went to the toilet for I think, 4 times in 5 hours?! Royston suggested playing the ‘guess-the-number’ game and I don’t know what the hell were we thinking but the rest of us actually went along with that idea when we were already quite full from all that eating. So anyway, we had this menu with us and there’s numbers (ranging from 1 to 112) allocated to every single dish in the menu so if we guessed the correct number, we had to eat whatever that number was allocated to on the menu as the punishment. And I was the ultimate winner, last man standing!!! HAHA. We played for more than 10 rounds but I didn’t lose even once HAHA lady luck was on me I guess. Yeah baby, I won them all hands down!

They all lost, had to eat things like hand rolls and hand rolls have so much rice in them! Imagine their horror. HAHAHA@THEM. Laughed like mad, seriously like m-a-d with them, thank god for friends yea? :)

The longest receipt ever.

After that the rest of them headed back home while Jacq and I met up with Ah Ben and June, and we went to catch the sneak preview of Paranormal Activity at PS! It was alright, freaky but yet not really THAT scary, just those momentarily kind of scary like after ten minutes you can get over it and it was really boring at the beginning I could have fallen asleep. Oh yes, I bumped into Kahwee both of us were really surprised to see each other. Anyway I reached home last night and my mother saw the headband I was wearing, here’s our conservation.
Mummy: “Eh how come you got this!”
Me: “Cute anot!”
Mummy: “Like siao char bor.”
-.- HAHAHAHA THANKS MUMMY.

And speaking of movies, I want to catch 2012, Ninja Assassin (no I am not a fan of Rain at all and I know he has a hot body but I don’t really care, I just thought it’s a rather action packed movie, I love action packed movies) and Storm Warriors!

Okay dokie end of suki sushi and Paranormal Activity post, I’m going to off and nua at home until it’s time to go to meet Louis for dinner!

***

Cheryl Cole - Fight For This Love
Just know that you're not in this thing alone
There's always a place in me you can call home
Whenever you feel like we're growing apart
Let's just go back, back, back, back, back to the start

Anything that's worth having
Is sure enough worth fighting for
Quitting's out of the question
When it gets tough gotta fight some more

We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
If it's worth having it's worth fighting for

Girl meets world

2009-11-04T22:22:00.004+08:00

“I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when their right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust noone but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.”

— Marilyn Monroe

Gosh.. Things ain't going right. It's only the third week of school but I'm horribly sick of it? Sick of the journey especially.

I have been stoning in class.. It's like one moment I'm actually listening to the lecturer but I slowly drift away and eventually I will just stone, everything else surrounding me will be cut off from me. What's happening. It was never like this.

I'm starting to put pressure on myself. GOSH I NEED TO STOP STRESSING MYSELF OUT WHAT THE HELL.

And... I have been real hard whether to go for the overseas attachment. I can't make up my mind. There's only 2 slots? Help. Seriously. Someone.

I'm tired. Sometimes I just want to be alone, I just don't want to open my mouth to speak. What's happening to me.

I wrote this for you

2009-11-03T19:04:00.008+08:00

Lecture ended at 330pm instead of 5 HAHA WTH RIGHT. Definitely a good thing because the bloody flu is killing me slowly and I am feeling way too tired god knows why. Alrighty, so the early dismissal today allows me to do Gil's birthday celebration post! Which I think is going to be flooded with pictures.

We went down to sing at Chinatown after school on Friday, she thought Jie Ying and Eunice weren't coming along with us but they two actually went to collect her cake and tadah, we surprised her damn successfully!

The cake was from Rive Gauche! THE BESTEST CAKE I EATEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE, I THINK I CAN DEVOUR THE WHOLE CAKE DOWN MYSELF. NO I AM NO KIDDING.

Happy birthday girl! ;) She was so damn paranoid that day because she kept thinking we’re gna do something to her hahaha.

The bunch of us wrote a card for her and combined everything together into a book sort of thing. SHE ALMOST CRY I TELL YOU. We’re awesome people right!! :D Okay mainly visuals for now, let the pictures do the talking yea?

Half sister! HAHA. ;)

We sang non stop for about 4 to 5 hours, they even danced in the room and everything damn high! Some left after the singing session, while the rest of us went for damn tasty dinner! Somewhere located near Halt Park and it was raining horribly heavily when we alighted from the bus (we took a bus from Vivo), we were all stuck at the bus stop for at least 30 minutes? AND WE FREAKING SAW MR LEE KWAN YEW!! There was this traffic police escort who all the vehicles in the middle of the road suddenly, we all thought there’s some road accident or something like that. BUT NO. Few minutes later came some cars in white YAH LIKE THOSE WHITE CARS YOU SEE IN THE NATIONAL DAY PARADE WHICH THE PRESIDENT OR WHOEVER SITS IN. Yes, he was in the car and some of us were waving and Gil said he freaking waved back at us!! MY GOODNESS LUCKY ANOT, AIYAAA WE FORGOT TO TAKE THE CAR PLATE NUMBER IF NOT CAN BUY 4D HAHAHA. Okay anyway, I was saying we were stuck in the rain trying to hail a cab. Apparently everyone else was waiting for cabs so the very heroic birthday girl dashed out into the rain when she saw a cab from hair and she got pretty drenched. Had dinner at a rather late time all thanks to the damn rain, but the food there was… WOOHOO HEAVENLY.

After the dinner, Jan and Gil went to night safari, rest of us headed back home. Trained back home with Mega, Royston and Shawn and those two guys… Made me laugh till my jaws ached so much until it almost drop. Long long day out but it was good! :) Okay here comes part 2 of her birthday.. The next day, we had a BBQ!! HAHA. She didn’t know about anything at all until his sister boyfriend gave our secret away but she was surprised nevertheless! WE’RE FANSTATIC PEOPLE I KNOW RIGHT GIL HAHA. :}

She had another ‘cake surprise’ from her other bunch of friends. Self decorated cake this time round! And actually we booked a BBQ pit already but it was raining AGAIN. We tried waiting for the rain to stop but it wasn’t getting anywhere better so we decided to go over to her house for the BBQ!

HAHA EDMUND THE SATAY MAN.

We were supposed to act ah lian in the last picture but that birthday girl was smiling lor! Ah lian meh?!?! Wahlau I think I the most ah lian already. Gna go upload the rest of the pictures on Facebook soon. I think we all made Gil super dup happy on both days because she’s gna open a blog because she wants to blog about her birthday! Woohoo, I know you love us x 100 right! HAHA. :)

Okay I'm dead tired after typing this post out. Anywaaay, Jennifer's Body tomorrow with Jacq, June and Ivan. Heard from quite a number of people that it's a bad movie but oh well, I'm not really bothered by that because I'M watching it not because of the movie but because of Megan Fox HAHA.

My stomach's calling out to me for dinner so I'm gna go off and watch the telly after that! Will try to update this space again soon.

Yahoooo, it's November already?!?!

2009-11-01T22:31:00.000+08:00

Way too fast.

I know I know, I haven't been updating much. Still very much in the holidays mood after 2 weeks of school, I should stop procrastinating and focus, stop hanging out and spare some time for myself. Time to exercise some self discipline.

It's been a hectic week, it's driving me insane. I'm tired down to my bones. I have quite an amount of uncompleted school work on my list, the experiment datasheets/reports are piling in. Celebrated Gil’s 19th on Friday and Saturday, here's a lil' sneak preview!

I'll do a proper post and post up the facebook at a later date (soon I promise, probably tomorrow night if I'm not too tired or on Tuesday night) going off to bed soon so ciaos, till then.

Now where's that spark?

2009-10-25T22:06:00.006+08:00

Currently in my room typing away without the fan because my father stole it from me I am perspiring like a mad pig now and no I don't on the air con because all my postcards which I stick onto my wall are gna drop off if I on it.

Okay anyway, a quick update..

Wednesday: Shopped at Vivo after school, bought a romper, a new nail polish, and a pair of shorts.
Friday: Headed down to Bugis/Haji Lane, no much of a shopping mood that day so yeah, crashed Jacq's cousin birthday celebration, played pool, moodswings got the better out of me.

Been feeling pretty messed up for the past 2 days, don't quite feel like talking, the slightest things upset me, just wna be alone sometimes, just the moodswings I believe.

I haven't been meeting Louis.. I think it's been a week. I miss him.

A level's are drawing near, study of your life away people.

School at 8 tomorrow. Monday blues.

The end. Kbye.

Point form

2009-10-20T23:24:00.000+08:00

1. Actually I wanted to do a post on the trip we made to Island Creamery & to Lao Beijing for the buffet, but apparently it's quite long ago and I'm just plain lazy. :/

2. Mummy's gone to Genting. I'm left all alone at home, so lonely. I do not like that feeling at all.. I have to mop the floor, wash my clothes and eat takeaway dinner alone at home. And Papa's not home till 8. I miss her. ):

3. Did I mention I bought a headband with a ribbon on it?!?? HAHA yes I bought it, I did.

4. School's pretty relaxed still. No pressure.

5. Getting tired already, need to up awake at 7 tomorrow I ought to go to bed soon so bye.

Hello School, I come to you with open arms

2009-10-19T18:50:00.001+08:00

A daisy from PR today keeps the worries away! ;) Woah, it rhymes leh! I love my classmatessss! Let love in, uh huh uh huhhh. HAHA YEAH BABY SCHOOL'S STARTED. I feel hyped up! I have absolutely no clue why. And I think I'm actually looking forward to school now! All the bloody tough modules come to mama, woo I'll take you onnnn yeah man HAHA.

THIS IS A HAPPY POST. WOO.

Like city lights, baby you shine

2009-10-17T14:34:00.001+08:00

Okay gna do a short post before I head out to meet the girls to go over to Ivan's place. Went to have a go on the flyer on Monday with Louis! He gotten himself a haircut and dye some 2 or 3 days back and it’s awesome on him. :} Okay anyway, we had dinner at Aston’s hahahaha I can never get enough of Aston’s. :D

It was a mistake for us to have our dinner at Aston’s because it’s all the way at Suntec which means we have to walk quite a bloody distance to the flyer, should have settled our dinner at Popeyes which I am having craving for now. So thanks to the walk from Suntec to the flyer, we had really sore legs.

We had to share the capsule with a family from I don’t know uh, Philippines or Indonesia and it was real irritating because some of them were constantly talking so damn loudly on the phone like the other part on the other side of the call is deaf or what.

So the flyer was.. Umm, not very fantastic hahaha but we could see the city lights which was quite beautiful for.. Uh, say 10 minutes. After the entire flight it was, “Okaaaaay.. So that was the flyer. Lights and lights and lights and buildings and more buildings” kind of thing. For me, that is. Aiyaaah okay, I admit I don’t know how to appreciate such things lah okay hahahaha.

I have to go off already and school’s starting officially in… 1 day. Damn it. K bye.

All that's left

2009-10-15T14:49:00.004+08:00

"Have you noticed how you stop making real friends some time in your twenties? Friends of your own, I mean. After that, it's all about the mothers of your children's friends, or the wives of your husband's colleagues; colleagues of your own, too, I suppose, if you're lucky enough to have a job. But the friends you'd call upon a crisis, the women you'd ring if your husband left you, or ask to look after your children if you were both killed in a plane crash; you stop making those kinds of friends much earlier than you'd think."
- The Infidelity Chain

I get that feeling sometimes. Growing up can be... So daunting.

Some say I tend to think too much. But isn't it time for me to think about my future? Because
A)it's scary how some teenagers my age are already achieving great heights in life,
B)it's scary how some of them know exactly what they're going to do in the future and
C)it's scary how some of them have already thought of their goals and have already secretly and carefully plan out their future themselves. Whereas.. I still don't know a bloody clue where I'm heading to. Gosh, sometimes I seriously doubt myself if I know what I'm doing.

Take a deep breath, and just be happy

2009-10-14T15:10:00.001+08:00

Sup world! So I changed my layout, again. And today’s a stay at home day for me so here am I. Had a belated birthday celebration for Jannifer last Friday! I made a card for her, forgot to snap a picture of it. Had lunch at Hotpot Culture!

Loveee the prawns there and I love eating steamboat with them because I never had to get my hands on to peel off the prawn shells HAHAHA. Aiyaaah but that’s not the only reason I love eating with them lah okkkkay. ;) It was always madness with them around, laughing like lunatics, feel very much like a family me likey! :} And it was so hilarious, we got hyped up because of the beef slices HAHA AND THERE WAS THIS PART.. OH MY GOSH FUNNY LIKE SIAO (I FEEL LIKE LAUGHING NOW). We were all going high because the beef was soooo fantastic till the rest went “WOOOO!”. Gil was eating as well.. She was dipping the beef or something with sliced chili and soya sauce, and then she accidentally ate 4 slices of the chili HAHAHA THEN SHE WENT “WOOOO!” AS WELL. We all thought she went high because the food tasted good hahahahaha but actually it was the chili loooool AIYAH YOU HAVE TO BE THERE LAH. I LAUGHED UNTIL I ALMOST CRIED.

Sun kiss! Orange rich in vitamin C! ;)

DARK CHOCOLATE FONDUE THIS WAS THE HIGHLIGHT OF LUNCH THAT DAY, WOOHOO IMBA. We had marshmallows, bananas, strawberries and banana cakes to go along with it! Jayne, PR, Gil and I couldn’t stop eating at all, super addictive damn high hahahaha. I love the banana cake there!

After we had our stomachs satisfied, we decided to head for pool and we stopped by for some arcade games as well! Jannifer was screaming at the top of her lungs AND I REALLY MEAN THE TOP OF HER LUNGS, eveyone was staring hahahaha I think the whoooole arcade can hear her.

PR left us shortly and Shawn joined us for pool!

Played for an hour or so then we went to Harry's bar at Esplanade to chit chat for awhile before heading home. HELLO HELLO GIL AND THE GIRLS I MISS YOU ALL LEH.

I realise I have much to update on! There’s the Singapore Flyer with Louis and the buffet I went yesterday with Jacq, June and Ivan. I’m looking forward to Saturday because we’ll be heading down to Ivan’s place for our very own home cooked dinner and maybe a stayover! And we’re already making plans for Christmas. The holidays just keep getting better. :)

Gotcha

2009-10-11T19:44:00.001+08:00

Everyone’s turning legal. Was Ivan’s turn on Thursday and we made plans to surprise him at his crib before he wakes up. And we were reaaally unlucky because the moment we wanted to walk over to his place it rained. It rained horribly heavily, there wasn’t shelter to his place, the floors and roads were flooded, thunders so loud it almost burst our ear drums, the wind so strong it almost blew us away. So Ivan’s mama to the rescue, she came with umbrellas. Jacq and June wore shoes which were of canvas material so they decided to go barefooted because they didn’t want their shoes to get soaked hahahaha I should have taken a photo of them walking in the rain without shoes.

Okay anyway, that pig was still sleeping(!!!) despite of the rain, thunders and everything when we arrived at his place. Managed to successfully catch him by surprise when we entered his room with a birthday cake for him.

Jovian was supposed to came along with us but couldn’t contact him at all that day. Turned out he woke up really late. Chit chatted for a bit, waited for Ivan to get ready to go off for lunch, camwhored quite a bit.

Had satisfying lunch at Aston’s! YUUUMZ FOOD MAKES THE WHOLE GO ROUND YEAAAAH BABY. :}

Caught a movie after that, shopped for awhile, I got a biker jacket (woohoo I’m lovin’ it!!). Ivan left us to meet his parents for dinner oh yah! There was this part I found a phone in the toilet cubicle, kind of dramatic.. Managed to contact the owner’s husband through the phone, waited for them to back retrieve the phone from us blah blah blah you get the idea. We were actually rewarded a 50 bucks, didn’t take it (paiseh leh okay). Everyone else we knew were saying we should have taken it hahahaha okay anyway, we met June’s friend after that for late dinner at Din Tai Fung, trained back after that.

I think I'm losing the passion to blog, I'm going to have to find the passion back okay I’m just going to end this post abruptly like now.

Ain't nothing better than you by my side

2009-10-08T00:38:00.002+08:00

Yep, I changed the layout! Simply because I like those colours. :} Okay I’m here to update on Louis’s birthday! :)

Thank god I have Cherie because she was the one who recommended me the place to celebrate his birthday, I was fretting so much over on what to do and where to bring him. And it’s proven that it’s really hard and tedious to plan for a birthday alone, seriously.

So anyway, I went over to surprise him at his place at a earlier time when I told him I was going to meet him at around early evening. According to him, he was quite surprised so mission accomplished! :}

If you had seen the album I have uploaded in Facebook, I mentioned he made wishes that lasted for at least 2 minutes and so, his sister called him gu niang hahahaha wouldn’t help but laugh out loud.

I bought this Hugh Parsons men fragrance for him. I had such a hard time choosing between all the different fragrance and I sniffed so many different types of smell until my head hurts. I always had this problem when I come in contact with too a perfume or whatever that’s too overwhelming. And then my nose will start giving me problems too. But nevermind all that because he doesn’t like the gift but he loves it! :D

Brought him to Little Part 1 Cafe! Awesome cosy little place where there’s nice food and at the same time there’s shelves of books and board games to keep us entertained!

You’re always worth it.

He had some chicken thing which tasted pretty good, I love the mashed potato with bits corn inside! I had a crepe which was quite tasty too! Yuuumz.

You’re the reason behind those smiles.

I fell in love with apple crumble since that day I sank my teeth into this one. Fabbbbulous. :}

Attempted to take a cab back home but there was a long queue at the taxi stand, we waited for 30 minutes and still we wasn’t our turn so we gave up, took bus back home instead. And it was the mid autumn festival on his birthday itself but there’s no sight of the pretty full moon. Really glad because at the end of the day he was appreciative for the things I did. :} Let’s keep our fingers crossed, hope for many years to come we’ll still be celebrating each other’s birthday yea? :)

Like we're dying

2009-10-07T12:52:00.002+08:00

Love love love Kris Allen's Live Like We're Dying! I extracted out 4 parts of the lyrics of the whole song I love most! Take time to read through these lyrics if you haven't heard the song before because it means so much sense. Seriously.

1.
Sometimes we fall down and can’t get back up
We’re hiding behind skin that’s too tough
How come we don’t say I love you enough
Till it’s to late, it’s not too late

2.
We only got
86 400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or throw it all away
We gotta tell ‘em that we love ‘em
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we’re dying

3.
And if your plane fell out of the skies
Who would you call with your last goodbyes
Should be so careful who we live out our lives
So when we long for absolution
There’ll no one on the line

4.
We never know a good thing till it’s gone
You never see a crash until it’s head on
All those people right when we’re dead wrong
You never know a good thing till it’s gone

Really, live like we're dying.

:(

2009-10-04T00:25:00.003+08:00

Why do I always have to screw things up?

Why do we have to learn through failing, screwing things up? Why do we have to learn things the hard way?

Why am I me? Why am I like that?

Why do I have the ability to break people's heart and disappoint them over and over again?

Why am I everything I don't want to be.

Why.

The best part of me was always you

2009-09-30T19:08:00.000+08:00

Had my virgin visit to Marina Barrage few days back! :} Saw the usual us for a picnic without WL (awww attachment). Before that Jason and I met in the morning and went shopping for stuffs we need for the sandwiches! After that, we two made sandwiches!! We fried eggs and made french toast too! :}

Met with Cherie after her lesson in school, and then there we were at Marina Barrage after uh, close an hour journey?

We had an enormous amount of sandwiches! I think we wasted quite a lot, because we couldn’t finish everything. Jason and I bought a kite too, we two had never flew a kite before this. How sad and deprived is our childhood hurhur.

We tried and tried countless attempts to fly the kite but we couldn’t succeed at all. Even some expert at flying kites over there helped us! Turned out there’s something wrong with the kite according to the kite expert, center of gravity yeah you get the idea. And there was this point of time the strings got so damn entangled up we couldn’t fix it, had to cut away quite an amount of string. Then ZK came and joined us at a later time. Photos up ahead!

We saw this monster in the sky when we were leaving! Cool or cool. Had never seen such a unique kite ever! More photos are up on Facebook already. Though the sun was a killer that day and we left the place all sticky and perspiring, but it was fun, love the greenery and the sea! :}

So it's the last day of September and it feels scary.. Because the JC people are going to graduate soon and then conquer the A levels then Uni while I’m still quite stuck down here in Poly? Everything feels so fast paced. And the holidays are ending in.. 3 weeks time? Nooooo, I dread school already boring boring boring, hypothesizing lectures and tutorials and tonnes of projects and assignment. Now I really wish holidays never end. Right okay, enough of whining and complaints I’m out of here will be back soon! :)

And did I mention my paternal cousin(Sili’s sister) is pregnant! It’s the first pregnancy among my paternal cousins, and I’m feeling quite excited though I already had nephews and nieces on my maternal side mainly because I’m closer to my relatives on my paternal side. The baby’s due in April (I think? if I remember correctly). New member to the family! And the baby’s going to be an Indian Chinese! So cool okay bye, going to have my dinner!

Dancing to the rhythm in our hearts

2009-09-29T12:19:00.000+08:00

There we were on a late Friday afternoon, sitting side by side watching tv. We got up from the couch after the show ended, started talking about dinner with arms wrapped around each other.

Then we were dancing.

Dancing to the beat of nothing, swirling slowly in circles. If I could, I would definitely for sure snap this moment down that belonged to the two of us.

I'm falling way deep, now I realise I've given every single inch of my heart to you.

Xoxo.

In the end, we're all going to die alone

2009-09-24T23:55:00.003+08:00

This is going to be a quite random short update.

Today:
1. Met Jacq, June and Ivan for lunch.
2. Made plans for Tuesday. Gna catch a movie, go Island Creamy and some retail therapy.
3. Almost bought a demin jacket. And I think I'm being to regret not getting it, damn it.
4. Saw Abigail and Huimin.
5. Met Louis at Tampines 1 in the late afternoon.
6. Bought a bright yellow (!) nail polish! Have a thing for yellow now. :}
7. Realised something which hit me rather hard. Not going to mention anything here.. Gosh, I wish Blogger has password protected post function or something like that.
8. I think Louis knows me better than I know myself. Scary or not.
9. Am getting lazier to post up photos.

Talk about l-o-v-e

2009-09-22T11:27:00.001+08:00

"I never felt so happy and blessed before.. Though there are some downs, but that's relationship. It's.. Essential. Like life.. Pain makes you feel alive. :)"
- The Bf

Couldn't agree more.

Love the way you make me smile, the way you hold my hands, the way you pull me in close, the way you wipe tears off my face, the way you look at me with your beautiful eyes, all in all, everything.

Thank goodness I have you in my life.

Hit the beach baby

2009-09-19T21:33:00.000+08:00

I know I haven’t been updating much, I’m getting lazier and lazier each day. So anyway, saw the girls and I at Sentosa few days ago. AND I’M REALLY BURNT. Getting better already though. First time experiencing such a bad horrible burn. Hurts when I dry myself after I bath, hurts when I sleep on my back, hurts when I stretch sometimes. Gna post some of the photos we took that day here, but maybe you had already viewed on Facebook but oh well.

We played volleyball and we decided the loser team have to do a banana dance. And yes.. My team lost. BY JUST A POINT OKAY. Gil videoed the whole dance down, my goodness don’t upload it on Facebook lehhhh hahahahaha. We sat down and had talking session too! Me likey. :}

Went for a lil’ shopping at Vivo after that just to kill some time before dinner, girls can seriously shopping anytime, anywhere. IT’S PROVEN. PR, Jan, Grace and I each got something from Pull and Bear! :) Then we were soooooo damn hungry we couldn’t contain our hunger any longer we headed to town for Seoul Garden! Jayne didn’t join us because she went to meet her cousin.

The mussels were gooood. :} Dinner was MADNESS. Laughed so hard at certain things which are not meant to be posted out loud down here hahahaha. ;)

More pictures from Gil's camera up on Facebook! Went home with a bad sunburn, feeling all tired and exhausted but the girls were great great accompany. :)

My heart caved in

2009-09-18T22:16:00.001+08:00

I feel extremely uncertain, broken, miserable, insecure, unsure. A mixture of this and that.

Now who’s there to give me comfort, who’s there to cheer me up, who’s there to wipe off my tears.

I think I’m a huge idiot. I think I should just die. Sucks to be me seriously.

Rough day today. Even mummy saw me crying like a helpless baby in my room, I refused to tell her what happened and all I did is scream at her to go away. How messed up can I get.

You mean so much to me and I hope you know that.

$$$$$

2009-09-11T14:38:00.000+08:00

Sigh, I seriously need to make an effort to have a major kachings saving plans because I’m contemplating to…

First on my list, the new Ipod Nano!
Dye my hair (!) Should I should I?!?! Should I go dark brown or light brown? I was thinking light brown would make me look damn chao ah lian. But then again, dark brown.. Might as well don’t dye?! SUGGESTIONS PLEASE I cannot make up my mind AT ALL.
Maybe a polaroid

Meanwhile, all the going-outs for the past one week plus is seriously draining me out so today I’mma gna to camp at home and just nua today, maybe stayover at Sili’s tomorrow. :} Speaking of which, Sili, Sara and I managed to meet up one of the days this week! Kind of lazy to post photos down here, already done so at Facebook. Alright, I’ll update again soon bye world.

Forever united here somehow

2009-09-09T20:05:00.000+08:00

Fantastic night out at Timbre@The Substation on Sunday!

I love it there, fabulous music and band and plus the awfully enjoyable company with heaps of laughter non stop. Nothing beats that. :)

Had a few drinks here and there, I tried Sex on a Beach very indulging! :}

Had a really really hard time deciding what to have for dinner. Decided to share a pizza with 2 different toppings, chicken wings, fries and grilled lamb (or something like that). I have been eating out for the past one week, sinful much seriously.

Pardon me for the lousy quality, the flash on my camera wasn’t on. And the superb live band there! Love it.

We also ordered some wine thing and we played 猜拳, the loser has to drink. We were all pretty hyped up throughout the game hahahaha.

Awesome night out. We should do this often yea? :} I’m going to say something pretty random but it feels good to be 18. Feels like everything’s within your reach. :} Wonderful.

Holidays are jam packed to the maximum, for the past one week I have been out consecutive everyday. More activities coming up, can get quite tiring and exhausting but damn I love my life.

Eighteen candles

2009-09-07T00:14:00.001+08:00

Hello to everyone out there. I am back to do a post on Cherie’s 18th! I don’t know where to start seriously. Her birthday’s quite happening, okay I shall start somewhere during the week when we all went to get her present. Long long post ahead, just to warn you.

Alrrrrright, SO IT WAS MY BEST FRIENDS’S BIRTHDAY AND I WAS QUITE STRESSED OUT BECAUSE I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO CLUE AT ALL WHAT TO DO FOR HER BIRTHDAY AND WHAT TO GET. We got a red (her fav colour!!) bagpack for her. And we decided to give her a surprise by bluffing her that we’re not going to celebrate with her because Jason had something on and I. AM. FREAKING. SUSPECTED. OF. H1N1. HAHAHAHAHA DAMN HILARIOUS Shijia came up with the idea in the train on the way home that day we were laughing non stop all the way. (Okay I’m amazed you actually read till here this is getting really wordy but pictures are coming up!!)

I swear I was feeling SO DAMN BLOODY guilty and horrible and terrible because I had to bluff her and disappoint her!! She tricked me into believing they’re not celebrating my birthday with me SO I WOULD UNDERSTAND HOW SAD SHE WILL FEEL. AND I HAD TO BE THE BAD GUY THIS TIME ROUND FOR HER BIRTHDAY OKAY. IMAGINE. JUST IMAGINE. Okay okay blah blah blah I should fast forward.

On her birthday, just 10 minutes after I woke up I received a text from Shijia. Informing about a change of plan because apparently their lessons were cancelled and I had to reach Innova at 12 plus instead of 4! DAMN HAPPENING I was so flustered when I received her text. Soooo anyway, I managed to surprise her successfully! :D OKAY PICTURE TIME. We took about 200 photos that day, but I’m not going to bombard this space with so many of them.

Nice polaroids! They were all saying the polaroids look damn old school!

Yes I had a haircut, and I hate it so much. Grow hair groooow.

See the jar C’s holding! Birthday themed sweets given to her by Jason DAMN PRETTY THE SWEETS. I AM SO GOING TO GET IT.

Went over to C's place for awhile because the very awesome us decided to help her carry her things back home. AND C PRACTICALLY SLEEPS WITH HER BOOKS. I AM SERIOUS. WOMAN, YOU ARE GOING TO ACE THE EXAMS MAN. I should have taken a photo of her room man. Hungry people with an empty stomach at 4pm so we decided to head to Sakae! :}

Birthday girl!

Had a really good time over there chatting, laughing NON STOP until my jaws ached and looking at pictures of us back then when we were Secondary 4 HAHAHA brought back so many memories. Left the place and we bumped into Kennedy! Which after we randomly decided to go over to his place.

Meet Sparky! K’s 2 year old dog, adorable to the maximum AND THEY FREAKING SAID I LOOK LIKE HER. Which part of me looks like her?!?!?!?! Anddddd Jason is scared of…… HAHAHAHAHA OKAY I SHALL NOT EXPOSE YOU HERE.

Left his place at around 9pm and headed back home! Everyone’s turning legal simple celebration, hello C if you’re reading this hope you enjoyed yourself okay! Happy birthday once again! Much love, you know I love you! ^^ (L)

Just got home back from Timbre with them, will update soon really drained out gna hit the sack already goodnight humans.

1 step forward and 2 steps back

2009-09-05T13:15:00.001+08:00

Trying is having the intention to fail. You gotta scrap that word out of your vocab. Say you’re gna do it and you will.
-I love you, man

Mean what you say. Mean what you promised. But does that means trying ain’t good enough? So that also means the saying, “at least you tried your best” ain’t valid? Something to ponder about.

Yesterday was Cherie's big 18th, will do a post about that soon. Life has been fantastic nowadays, no worries no fretting no troubles. Carefree uh huh uh huh, I like it like that I want to keep it this way.

Out of here, ciaos till then.

Legal (part II)

2009-09-03T00:30:00.001+08:00

Yes I’m back for my second post of my awesome 18th. :] AND IT’S THE HOLIDAYS!!!!! I haven’t been feeling so liberated without nothing to worry about or fret over AT ALL for a long time! LIFE IS SO GOOD NOW. No one is ever going to ruin it. :)

Alright anywaaaay, so I met Louis for a celebration on my day itself. He brought me to Mykii, a simple but nicely posh restaurant with a damn good ambience! Located at Holland V. :}

Handsome boyyyy. :)

I had Seafood Linguine! The best linguine I ever tasted in my entire life hahahahaha no I am not exaggerating. It’s linguine together with superb laska paste, sounds weird but wait till you try it. SUPER YUMMY. Leaves you craving for more seriously. Okay I sound like some spokesman or whatever but really, it’s that nice! Cherie, Jason and the rest, we go there someday alright! :) And he had Sirloin steak which was equally as good! Damn tender and fresssssh. :D

Then he surprised with this Nutella cake/brownie thingy! Sinful BUT. Heavenly hahahahaha. I think we devoured it down in minutes.

(L)(L)(L)(L)

After the super dup filling dinner, he hurried me home and he was busying texting somebody when I tried to peep, he refused to let me take a look at his phone!! And when I got home, I HAD 4 EXTRA PEOPLE APPEARING AT MY ROOM with a cake on my table. They are daaaamn smart, they went to hide their shoes in the shoe cabinet somemore so I won’t suspect a thing!! AND BEFORE MY DAY I GOT A TEXT FROM CHERIE THAT THEY’RE ALL BUSY, NOT ABLE TO CELEBRATE MY BIRTHDAY WITH ME I WAS SO DAMN SAD I WANTED TO CRY OKAY. It was all part of bf’s and their plan! My goodness, thank you all sooo much my birthday this year was the most memorable! :):)

JUST LOOK AT MY FACE. I swear and cross my heart I was elated to the maximum!

I love each and everyone of you all till death. Thank you bf because you made everything possible, thank you for the dinner, thank you for racking your brains to think of a nice place to bring me to, thank you for celebrating my birthday with me no matter what. You’re irreplaceable, I love you and you know that. ^^

Thank you to the usual 5! I know you all have really put effort into making the surprise a successful one! Thank you for making time especially for C and J because I know you two are reaaaally busy people! And furthermore it’s the exam week for WL too. Y’all are the best of the best. :}

The most awesome birthday ever.

Tell me how not to be thankful when I have people like them in my life. I cannot ask for more. :)

Xoxo

Legal (part I)

2009-08-31T19:53:00.000+08:00

Sup world! I think I've been neglecting this space here because I don’t have much to update one previously. Now I’m back with something to update about! Turned 18th last Saturday! Legal, bitches. :} I’mma going to do my birthday post into 2 parts if not the post is going to be way long! My birthday this year. IS. A. TOTAL. BLAST. Totally, completely, absolutely, entirely awesome to the maximum! :)

I had a advanced celebration with Jacq and company on Friday night. Had steamboat for dinner at Bugis which I ate very poorly (my appetite is deteriorating I have no idea why it’s getting quite bad).

They surprised me with a cake from TCC in the middle of nowhere, reaaaaally good and yummy cake. :} I love small pretty pastries like this one, but I ate 3 different cakes in just 2 days I’m tad bit frightened of eating them now.

More photos will be up on Facebook. Simple celebration but still, thank you to them for the gifts and for making the effort to celebrate with me despite some of us are still in the midst of exams. :)

Speaking of exams, I’m left with one more paper to go! I cannot wait, HOLIDAYS COME TO MAMA. :] I’ve got no particular plans for the holidays, how sad is this but I know one thing! ME WANT TO TAN! Tan tan tan, yeaaaah baby Sentosa here I come whoever wants to get tanner LET’S ALL GO TGT ALRIGHT. :)

Will be back with the second part of my birthday celebration post, till then!

Sing like you’ve never sang before

2009-08-27T20:03:00.004+08:00

Hello humans yes, after about a week plus I’m back. I have been feeling rather emotional for the past one week but I'm getting better. Just going to do a very brief post.

I had a small distressing session with Gil, Jannifer and the rest of them during the study week. Was pretty moody that day, pms probably but whatever. Anyway, we went for singing at Chinatown! A very homely feel and good place to relax down there, really.

They are forever wrestling with each other! And I mean f-o-r-e-v-e-r, seriously.

Oh yah! There’s a part when Gil and I were singing Just So You know – Jesse McCartney, AND YOU KNOW WHAT THE TV SCREEN WAS SHOWING?! MOUNTAIN BEARS. Or whatever, just some bear climbing on mountains. DAMN TURN OFF, kept laughing couldn’t even sing properly at all HAHA. Okay anyway here come the part where the photos are going to look a lil' weird because I think one of us accidentally changed the image size in my camera when we were camwhoring halfway.

Not going to post up every photo here because some of the photos are going to look really distorted if I post them up on this space. Probably will post them up on Facebook. And there was this part Jayne was singing a song with it’s content about a grandmother or something like that and I couldn’t help but cry because I got reminded of Grandmother. :( Oh boy. Jayne, you’re one strong girl aye. After singing non stop for about 5 hours, we stopped and had a game of pool (actually only Gil and Jan played haha).

Didn’t get to join the rest of the girls for dinner, so I left earlier with Roy. I think I was kind of moody in between and it scared Grace quite a bit, don’t mind me yea? :) It’s just my pms. Sheesh, I think my pms are really the extreme. :\

Still in the midst of the exams, furthermore my day’s coming (!!), I’m getting really restless and I am losing my concentration to continue revising for the rest of the papers already. This always happens, yea? Not going to comment anything about the papers so far, we’ll see how the results go. Alright, I need to go bye will be back soon.

When there’s nothing left to burn, set yourself on fire, be the human torch

2009-08-23T21:38:00.001+08:00

Stop falling in love with everything that lets you down, even if your hands are shaking and your faith is broken, even as the eyes are closing, do it with a heart wide open. Say what you need to say, do what you need to do.

Yes, I need to do what I need to do, I need to say what I need to say.

I need to count my blessings, I need to be thankful.

Life is so much better than this, I know.

Stop, take a deep breath

2009-08-19T10:05:00.002+08:00

Today: Feeling moody and negative. Don’t even feel like smiling at anyone, don’t even wanna talk.

I think I’m going on a short hiatus, I’m really tired I think I want to take a long break, thank god the holidays are coming. Hopefully I’ll be back after the exams. Don’t worry, I think it’s just me and my pms. Gosh I hate my pms.

Do what you love, love what you do

2009-08-15T18:36:00.000+08:00

Hello world!

Yesterday was sort of the last day of Year 2 Semester 1! Seriously, time has got wings. Anywaaay, we had basketball again! I’m horribly lousy at shooting but I think I got the hang of it! I scored in 2 balls yesterday okay! ^^ And hopefully the activities under the sun makes me a little tanner! YEAH GIL, TANNER. ;) And you’re right, this is going to be happy post!

And I bought my camera along to school that day because it was the last day!! Have to take some photos right?!?? Gonna bombard this space with pictures, pictures and more pictures!

More of the pictures up on Facebook! After that Jannifer, Gil and I went to catch a movie! :D And we talked over a drink at Starbucks after that and I think I’ve found my purpose in life! Got home at around midnight, that’s how a Friday night should be yea! Really long since I hung out after school till late into the night. This is how it should be. Like how we used to stay late in Secondary School in the NP room rotting doing nothing in particular at all/going out for lunch etc etc. THIS IS MY LIFE YEAAAA. We should do this often uh huh uh huh! :)

Study week coming up next week. NEED TO FOCUS! Need to go! Gonna meet Gil and PR and the rest for the damn Colours project which is driving me nuts.

Do things to enjoy living

2009-08-12T20:57:00.001+08:00

School today was awesome! :}

Had jamming session in school during the long 3 hours break! It was when I realised almost everyone has a talent/something they are good at except for me. MY LIFE IS SO SAD. :( I suddenly feel like picking up swimming again. And I learnt how to play the drums a little! Coool. :D

Some of us had a short session of basketball too! F-U-N. :D I have the urge to play captain’s ball!
Town trip to catch G.I.Joe tomorrow, Ion here I come! I think we’re all in the holidays mood already WHEN THE EXAMS HAVEN’T EVEN START, WHEN THE STUDY WEEK IS NEXT WEEK.

How to study like this!

The Nation’s 44th

2009-08-10T00:27:00.000+08:00

This year’s one was pretty meaningful and different. :}

I gave the meet up with the usual a miss because I had a birthday celebration going on in the family! Not only did Singapore celebrated her birthday, my grandfather celebrated his too! It was an advanced celebration though.

Went to one of the restaurant at Warren Country Club to have dinner together.

Yum, red bean soup me like! :} Very very filling dinner with heaps of laughter in between. My father, my uncle and cousins are so damn hilarious people I can die of laughter with them around. :) My uncle even wanted to say the pledge at 8:22pm HAHA but we were busy talking away/eating so we missed the time.

Grandfather looking very very happy above. :} He turned 80 this year! Healthy, kicking and going strong! I love to hear his laughter and see him smile! It’s great to see how much small gestures makes our grandparent(s) happy don’t y’all agree! :)

In the car on the way home. Missed out the fireworks for National Day this year round, but I guess it doesn’t really matter because quality time was spent with the family! Mad love to family gatherings. :D I can’t wait for CNY of all of a sudden. Come quiccck.

I’m still wondering whether to complete my work or to slack throughout (but there’s quite a lot to do and there’s test on Thursday..) later on. I’m having the 6 weeks vacation mood already when exams are in 2 weeks time hahaha not good. Hitting the sack soon, goodnight world!

I. AM. GROSSED. OUT. AND. DISGUSTED.

2009-08-08T15:20:00.002+08:00

I think you’re pretty shameless to be even proud of it.

I guess my perception is way different from yours. We’re just way too different.

This love

2009-08-08T00:09:00.001+08:00

I love my boy. :)

Be better

2009-08-04T22:23:00.002+08:00

I haven’t been updating this space much and I don’t have anything much to update nowadays because life now revolves around school, tutorials, my study table, bloody tests and the exams are drawing near damn it. Like we just had the mid semester tests some one month ago now it’s the semester exams already?!? I need a life man seriously. Sometimes I feel like a JC student y’know! Sigh, why is SP so hardcore. Anywaaay on a lighter note, a couple of things to look forward to.

National Day’s going to a meet up with the usual 4/5. It’s becoming a-every-year thing.
Grandfather’s advance birthday celebration on National Day too! Which means I have two events going on that day.
Post National Day public holiday! No school! Still deciding whether to hit the streets or stay at home to revise for tests.
QAS class is going to be cancelled on Tuesday which means there’s only an hour of Maths. But hello? Lecturer had already finished syllabus so that means there’s nothing to do left, who the heck will go to school for an hour to do nothing?! Soooo yes, it’s going to a self proclaimed holiday for me. I think the whole class will skip that one hour of Maths too. THAT MEANS. I have 4 days of non schooling days including the weekends WOOHOO LIFE IS SWEEEET UH HUH UH HUH. :}

In the mean time… I think I need to adjust to my exam studying mood fast. Sigh. Exams… (rooollllls eyes)

Okay gonna hit the sack soon goodnight humans. Will be back with more interesting post! (I hope)

Prank

2009-07-30T18:56:00.002+08:00

Today, 30th July 2009 during The Art and Science of Colours module, I received this text:

“Dear M1 user, you have existing bill of $348.02 not payable. Visit the nearest AXS machine of 7-11 for over due payment. Please do not reply. For more info, visit www.M1shop.com.”

I WAS SO SHOCKED. YOU ALL SHOULD HAVE SEEN MY EXPRESSION. I tried calling my mother in the middle of the class to ask her about the bills.

BUT. BUT. BUT. YOU KNOW WHAT.

Turned up I WAS PRANKED BY GIL KHOO AND JANNIFER NG HAHAHAHAHA DAMN COCK. I WAS SO TOTALLY, COMPLETELY AND ENTIRELY CONVINCED BY THE TEXT. It was Gil’s number which I didn’t have but she has my number and she knows that I’m a M1 user! The text was so damn convinced, I even showed Jacq and the rest the text okay!!! AND THEY DIDN’T EVEN SUSPECT A THING. IF YOU RECEIVED THIS TEXT WITH A NUMBER YOU DO NOT KNOW, YOU SURE BELIEVE IT’S FOR REAL RIGHT!! The two of them burst into laughter after they revealed it to me in the middle for the class when Mr Lee was talking away. And they practically shouted (because they were at the other end of the classroom) and announced I was pranked. SO LIKE HALF THE CLASS KNEW ABOUT IT. THANKS AH YOU TWO HAHAHA. DAMN UNFORGETABLE OKAY.

Ah, I love my class. :)

Checklist

2009-07-29T00:10:00.000+08:00

The most important. I haven’t been spending time over at my cousin’s. I have been neglecting my grandfather. I feel awfully bad for that. Plans to go over to cousin’s during the weekend.
Tests are coming? God damn it.
GSS? I haven’t got the time to shop for things and it’s going to be over in like few days time.
Talk about time. I think I’mma huge sucker for time management. And I hate myself for that.
Haven’t been feeling good these days, tears keep coming. I. Need. A. Breather. Help.

Okay, I got the flu today and it's really sucking my energy dry need to hit the sack already bye.

A lil’ shopping, indulgence, baking, school and virus

2009-07-27T19:09:00.001+08:00

We had a very small birthday celebration for Lim last Saturday. Before that Jacq and I went for a bit of shopping at Haiji Lane and Vivo. Went to one of the shop called Pluck at Haji Lane and we had ice cream! Bailey Irish cream (is dope!) and banana chocolate nut topped with oreo cookies, chocolate fudge, whipped cream and a waffle stick! Sinful but super dup yummy. :D

The two of us headed to June’s place after our shopping and we attempted to bake a cake for Lim! Jacq in action below.

Made a typical cake sized and cupcake sized ones! The cupcakes ones were really cute and they taste alright okay! But as for the cake for the birthday boy… As you can see below, it turned out to be quite disastrous. The outer layer of the cake were actually successful and edible, but the inside was still unbaked/uncooked or whatever you call it for god knows what reason. Pretty gross.

Birthday boy with his failed birthday cake. :/ He actually went to eat bits of the unbaked portion with a spoon okay, daaaamn gross.

I have no idea why the guys look so glum! Really long time since I last time some of them, a pretty short but good time spent with them.

Back to school today. Everyone's falling sick and one of my lecturers has the virus! Possible that my whole class might get infected HAHA, I think there should be a quarantine right?!

You jump I jump, remember?

2009-07-25T23:53:00.000+08:00

We’re 16 months old! :} Met L after school on Friday for dinner, I had craving for Fish and Co few days back so there we were, satisfying my craving. :D Meet him in his new and very geeky spectacles. I was a very very happy girl that day. Happy 16 months love. :)

A short post for today. Next post on Lim’s small birthday celebration. Till then!